A Divine Daughter
by Targhan
Summary: Ranma got a wish, which was translated to Skuld Moving in. Now there's a sidestory??!! Its "The Adventures of Mini-Ranko!" Now, who didn't see this coming?
1. Default Chapter

A Divine Daughter  
  
Part I: But, I Didn't Want a Wish!  
  
By: Targhan  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used. Both series are distributed in the   
U. S. By Viz-Video. "Ah My Goddess" manga is available from Dark Horse Comics, and   
Ranma manga through Viz. If you really like this stuff, support the real thing! This fic,   
and all fanfictions written by Targhan are done on an Amiga computer--ZombiOS: the   
living dead computer!   
  
"Amiga: Multimedia before Windows screwed it up." -- www.amiga.org  
  
  
Introductory Notes:  
This fanfiction will have Skuld appearing to be at a younger age, to facilitate this story   
Why? Two reasons, the first is obvious from this, the first installment. Second, because   
she can. Oh yeah, Skuld is not dating Ranma in this little work, or anyone else for that   
matter. In fact, the real question is: can the author keep Urd out of the story?  
  
  
  
An Odd Day at the Tendo Dojo:  
  
One shouldn't really have to consider what constitutes an odd day at the Tendo   
Dojo. Between the fighting, explosions, poisonous food, drugged food, and general   
chaos, an odd day is when there is peace and serenity. In fact, the oddity is so great   
that Satan began rummaging in his closet for that #@!!$ sled of his. I digress, so how   
could something of this nature occur? Simple: A shopping trip that Ranma had man-  
aged to avoid.  
  
"Ranma, we'll be back from the mall around noon. Are you *sure* you don't want   
to come with us?" Kasumi asked of the pigtailed martial artist, as she followed her   
younger siblings out of the front of the Tendo Dojo. She acknowledged Ranma's nega-  
tive remark to the idea, then reminded him about the new house rule, "Ranma, you can   
order out for your lunch, but do not call Shampoo or Ukyou. Remember, we're trying to   
not make Akane mad." She closed the door, caught up with her family, and left Ranma   
alone in the house.  
  
---  
  
Inside, Ranma was fairly amazed that he actually had some solitude. However,   
solitude is supposed to be a peaceful state, and Ranma's state was far from peaceful.   
Ranma looked over his left shoulder, and he crouched to look up at the ceiling. "Hmm, I   
guess I really do get some damned quiet!" Ranma had exclaimed rather loudly while   
stretching his arms above his head. Then, there was quiet. He then moved from the   
family room up the stairs making his way to the room that he and his father shared. The   
eeriness of the quiet was unsettling. After a year of living in Nerima, every creak   
sounded like a sonic boom, every rustle of the wind sounded as a war-hammer, and ev-  
ery ticking clock sounded like a bomb waiting to explode. Thus Ranma determined that   
a nap was in order, if only to calm his nerves. Opening the door to the room, he felt an   
immediate change of his sexuality. Following this, he heard, no felt, the loud clang, as   
the pail hit his head.  
  
"Awww, Man. I swear; I don't find water enough as it is. Jeez," Ranma muttered   
to himself as he rubbed the excess water from his, now her, face. Continuing to   
grumble as he made his way downstairs, he stopped by the telephone. "I suppose I   
could go ahead and order some ramen or something," she pondered aloud.   
Ranma-chan grabbed the phone book from the stand, and thumbed to the restaurant   
section. She thought to herself, "Target acquired." She picked up the phone,   
"Weapons ready." Finally she dialed, "I've watched too many American sci-fi flicks."   
Grinning at the slight skip on reality she just made, she spoke into the phone, "Mushi   
Mushi! Huh? This is who? Aww geez, it figures.. Goddess what?!!? You're kidding   
me. Nope, I don't believe it." He hung the phone up with a "click." Afterwards, she   
made her way into the kitchen to make a sex change; all the while, she was mumbling   
about having the phone checked.  
  
  
Moments Earlier:  
  
"Really, big sister? You're going to let me help the next mortal," Skuld asked of   
her older sister. Skuld was so excited! This was going to be her first attempt to help a   
rare deserving human! Not only was this her big chance, she would get to go on as-  
signment! Although after Keichii's wish, she was a little concerned about what she   
could get mixed up in. Before she could mention anything about her concern, her sister   
began speaking to her.  
  
"Now Skuld, you know that father has allowed it, and I'll be watching you. You   
will not have to worry about it. If anything gets too rough, I'll be right there to help."   
Belldandy took a breath, and smiled ever so comfortingly towards her younger sibling.   
She quietly mused, "I hope father gives her something that will build her confidence,   
Skuld is insecure because of her age."  
  
  
Back at the Dojo:  
  
Grumbling something about merchants not taking a girl seriously, Ranma doused   
himself with the water that was just warmed. The quick tingly sensation informed him   
that the transformation was complete. With that done, he grabbed the towel to clean   
the puddle from the floor.   
  
As he bent down, he was met by a girl. "Ack!" Ranma sputtered as he backed   
away from the puddle. The girl continued to rise out of the pool of warm water in an al-  
most ceremonial manner. Ranma was at once both amazed and very nervous; the last   
thing he needed was another fiance! As he back-peddled, Ranma tripped over a chair.   
Then, he continued his movement on all fours, backwards. All the while, he was stutter-  
ing, "W W W Who are you?"  
  
Smiling brightly at the slightly disturbed Ranma, Skuld said, "Hi my name is   
Skuld, and I'm from the Goddess Relief Office." Then she beamed brighter, "I'm here to   
grant you a wish!"  
  
In a response that only Ranma could give to a deity, he said, "Go away. I've had   
my belly-full of wishes already. Wishes do nothing but cause more trouble." His face   
was grim, and conveyed the disgust that he felt about any mumbo-jumbo magic. At this   
point, Ranma raised up, and noticed several things. First, the girl standing before him   
was glowing. Second, the girl, what's-her-name, was crying. "Don't cry. I'm sure you   
mean well, but wishes don't work for me," Ranma fumbled out to the upset girl. He went   
further, as his last words weren't helpful, "C'mon, a cute girl like you shouldn't cry!"  
  
The girl in question, Skuld, replied to Ranma's request by reminding him of why   
she was there, "Sniffle, But, you. You came up as worthy of a wish, and Kami-Sama   
sent me here to grant it." She choked up a little, and said, "I am supposed to help de-  
serving mortals."  
  
By this time, Ranma was holding the upset goddess. Sighing, he tried to explain,   
"Skuld, that is your name, right?" Seeing the affirmative nod in his shoulder, he contin-  
ued, "Skuld, the last time I had a wish someone was almost killed. I can't do that. Be-  
sides, I've gotten so much stuff messed up a single wish won't fix it." Then it hit Ranma,   
he could just wish the girl was happy again! Unknown to him, Ygdrassil automatically   
rejects wishes of this nature--as they tend to create a hiccup in the system. With noth-  
ing happening, Ranma continued, "Ok, I'll wish something, but only if you dry the tears   
off of your pretty face."  
  
Somehow, Skuld didn't feel too satisfied. This human was literately afraid of the   
goodness of heaven. Then, she could feel the true wish that the martial artist was hid-  
ing in the back of his mind.  
  
"Heh, between numerous unwanted fiance's, strange curses, a phobia of ca' ca'   
ca'--those things, and freaky people out to kill him, no wish could fix all that. Good grief,   
I just wish I could have Divine help to fix all of it!"   
  
Almost on cue, Ranma's eyes went wide, "Oh Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" He had enough   
sense to know that if a wish were truly granted they could cause all kinds of havoc, and   
now he was going to be caught up in the middle of it! Just then the girl's glow started to   
grow, and the winds picked up in the room. Ranma's eyes grew to the same size as his   
head, and he began clawing at the floor to get away.  
  
--  
  
Nearly as quickly as they began, the windy light show subsided into the nothing-  
ness from which it came. Ranma slowly lifted his body from the floor, his eyes still wide   
in disbelief. Just great, there was more magic to screw up his life; whatever would hap-  
pen next, he knew it wouldn't be good.  
  
"Con, congratulations! Your wish has been approved!" Skuld was jumping up   
and down in the Tendo's kitchen. When Ranma could get stabilized from the side ef-  
fects of the wish process, she ran up to him and hugged him! "I get to stay, so I can   
make everything better for you! You'll see! It'll be great! While I'm here, I get to be   
your daughter, isn't that awesome! You are going to be my Daddy!"  
  
Ranma, went terminal, petrified, overall frozen in place. Any further terms of en-  
dearment were lost on him, as he had only one thought, "Oh. Shit." Well, he was lost to   
normal sensations, until a loud "Kathunk" resonated from the table behind him.  
  
Ranma looked from the somehow younger looking girl holding on to him, the   
happily chirping Skuld, to the stack of papers on the table. Then, he looked back at the   
girl wearing stuff that was, well, unearthly. Between the various mists, winds, and lights   
the girl had shrunken nearly a foot in height. He shook his head, and looked towards   
the direction of the thud a second time.  
  
Picking up the papers, he quickly summized they must be some sort of adoption   
papers. Ranma was somewhat proud of the fact that he was a bit smarter than what he   
was given credit for. Wait! Why was he being proud of himself at a time like this! He   
had to get the situation under control, and this girl out of there! To do so, he had to go   
over those papers. "Yup, those are adoption papers," he thought out loud.  
  
--  
  
"Of course," Skuld began, "Poppa, no, the Kami Sama will take care of every-  
thing! I'm going to be your official daughter until everything is all better! I got to read   
your file, you are going to be a great daddy!" She then continued, "Don't worry! I'll be   
here until everything is straightened out!"  
  
Noting the look of disbelief on his face, she added, "I'm really here to help, and I   
will not make things worse. The Kami sent me here, and your true wish is going to be   
fulfilled. Just wait and see, it'll all get better!" She smiled brightly at the pig tailed guy,   
and waited anxiously for him to start responding. "Really," she thought, "these mortals   
just have a hard time with accepting help, even when they deserve it."  
  
--  
  
Slowly, Ranma's movements came back under his control. He stroked the girl's   
head, and said "Hey, are you hungry? We could go get some ice-cream?"  
  
Upon hearing that, her eyes began to twinkle, "You're gonna' get us some ice   
cream?"  
  
"Uhm, yeah, that's what I said, I think," Ranma replied, hoping that she liked   
ice-cream. If she did, maybe the start wouldn't be too rocky. Then again, maybe it   
wouldn't be a good idea to go out into public with his new, erm, daughter...  
  
"I just knew you were going to be a great daddy," she said while batting her eyes   
as cute as she could at the older boy.  
  
"Right! Let's go then," Ranma said, suddenly realizing how long it's been since   
he's had any of the cold, sweet, and creamy treat.  
  
Ranma led the way to the door, completely unsure about how he was going to   
explain this to anyone, least of all his violent fiance. As he closed the door behind him,   
Skuld grabbed his hand in a reflexive way. Ranma didn't act as he did with any of his   
fiance's, because he was in charge of her well being. Slowly approaching the gate of   
the Tendo compound, Ranma had an epiphany; he was in charge of the well being of a   
child. Not just any child, he further realized, but a goddess child.   
  
For her part, Skuld was thinking about the various things she could do to help her   
new daddy. Maybe, she could build a medic bot, or a regeneration chamber. Hmmm,   
she seemed to remember something of a Chinese curse. That's it she could devise a   
system to interpret a curse, and thus generating a method for a cure!  
  
While both parties were lost in thought, Ranma reached for the gate. In a way   
only possible in Ranma's life, he opened the gate to find the rest of the Tendos on their   
way in.  
  
--  
  
Somewhere else:  
  
The smoke filled room had an ominous feeling to it. A feel that was desperate in   
nature, and had nothing to do with the two men sitting at a table beneath an old light.   
Soun and Genma were preparing Operation-Marriage, a plan that would not fail. Then   
again, it could just be an excuse for excessive sake consumption. However, they were   
left unsupervised.........  
  
Later, the establishment would lose another barkeep to the madness of drunken   
panda. It was a mysterious condition that could besiege the best bartenders, and many   
legends were associated with it. The most important of these were to change careers   
upon the first sighting of the drunken panda. Otherwise, foul nightmares could plague a   
man's family for generations! Worse still, if that said panda was to hug another man in   
the bar that the bartender must be wary of his first wife. Luckily, the bartender missed   
Genma and Soun congratulating each other; otherwise, he may have wasted many a   
yen on some local detective Tendo, as so many others have!  
  
--  
  
The Meeting:  
  
Akane's eyes spoke volumes; well, they spoke volumes of re-  
verse-anger-management. Their fiery gaze fell almost immediately on the young girl   
with Ranma. Her aura began to glow a faint green; with it, her face turned to a shade of   
red.   
  
When Akane had that look, Ranma could hardly notice what the others' reactions   
were--almost as if they were in a haze. Reflexively, he reaffirmed his grip on the little   
girl's hand to reassure her. This fact, as small as it was, wasn't lost on Akane.  
  
The bellowing thusly, began, "RRRRRANMA! Who is this GIRL?!!?" The next   
act would reverberate through the collective memories of all present for a long time to   
come. Akane tried to hammer Ranma, which in itself was fairly normal. However, the   
amazing thing was that someone grabbed Akane's arm.  
  
Skuld, who had her own hammer, was preparing to put an end to that lesser   
hammer, but someone stopped the crazy woman from swinging. Before she had a   
chance to determine which person stopped the angry girl, Ranma grabbed her hand   
and began dragging her off.   
  
"Sorry, can't explain now, Akane. I promised the little one here some ice-cream,   
see ya'' later, bye!" Ranma bellowed as he and Skuld made haste towards the street.  
  
"RRRannnmmmaaaaa, come back here and explain this," Akane demanded to-  
ward Ranma's back.  
  
For her part, Kasumi just patted her baby sister on the back and said, "Oh, I'm   
sure everything is just fine. She seemed like a nice LITTLE girl." Hoping that the em-  
phasized word would reel Akane in from her immediate accusational state. She almost   
didn't notice Nabiki rushing inside. Anyway, she had to get Akane in to calm her down.   
It was just plain difficult to get any information out of Ranma when Akane was like this.  
  
Soothing Akane all the way into the house, she heard a startled voice from the   
kitchen. She could have sworn that Nabiki had just said, "Oh My!"  
  
--  
  
Moving at a brisk pace, Ranma could only think to himself, "Yeah, it's getting bet-  
ter alright. So much better I can't stand it." He rolled his eyes at the thought, and then   
knew that the girl trotting along with him noticed it. That's when he really wondered if he   
could disconnect his ears from his brain.  
  
"I know it doesn't look good back there, daddy. Yet, you were going to have a   
fight anyway. See! Look over there," she said while pointing towards a speeding bi-  
cycle with a purple haired amazon on it. "They were going to end up fighting with *urk*"  
  
Ranma grabbed Skuld, and made a ninety degree turn into an alley, hoping that   
Shampoo didn't see them. He looked down at Skuld silently hoping that she would un-  
derstand to be quiet, or they would be caught. He felt that she understood, and listened   
for the ringing bicycle bell to fade into the distance before giving a sigh of relief.   
  
Immediately after stepping out of the alley, a moped sped past splashing Ranma   
completely, and just as completely missed Skuld. This event, while expected for   
Ranma, was a little odd in that he had still been holding his daughter's hand. As ex-  
pected, Ranma dropped his head and said, "Not again, jeez."  
  
--  
  
Skuld looked on in surprise. She was sure that she had been holding Ranma's   
hand, and now there was this redhead there. She was about to ask what happened to   
Ranma, when she remembered that there was something in his file about a water   
based curse. Grinning, she said, "I guess that'll solve the Mommy problem under the   
adoption, huh?" She giggled at the paled reaction that Ranma returned to her com-  
ment.  
  
--  
  
By the time they made it to the ice-cream parlor, they were both laughing. Skuld   
at the aquatic gender bender, and Ranma at the little goddess who couldn't walk on a   
fence. Skuld was surprised and amused at how Ranma-chan got a volume discount   
with fluttering eyes. More to the point, she was surprised that Ranma knew how, not   
that it could be done. She has Urd as a sister, so she has just had to have seen it--and   
often too! Ranma was surprised at how Skuld could keep up the ice-cream eating pace.  
  
The trip back was a bit more somber. Skuld pried Ranma for where they should   
start, and had to decipher several "Huhs" and "Whatt'ya' mean" statements. By the time   
they got back, Skuld was fairly certain of two things. The first being that Ranma wanted   
the curse gone, which meant that she had to devise a machine to fix it. Next, she would   
start on the fiance dilemma. She was fairly certain that one, or more, of the fiance's   
would give up just because Ranma had a daughter to care for.  
  
These thoughts and the events revolving them, would begin very soon. Be-  
cause, the Dojo wasn't for away. Skuld and Ranma both hoped that nothing too terrible   
happened while they were away from the dojo.  
  
--  
  
Discoveries:  
  
Meanwhile, at the dojo things weren't necessarily looking up. After stopping her   
sister from attacking Ranma in front of that child, Nabiki sped into the house; she was   
determined to locate any clues about the girl before confronting Ranma about it. She   
had long since determined, that while a jock, it was easier to deal with Ranma while   
holding onto some facts. Dealing with that walking catastrophe required patience and   
an open mind, not whatever tactic her sister was using to deal with that fiance of hers.   
She wondered why her sister never learned anything from her, really. It was only a few   
months ago that Nabiki was engaged to the martial-arts misfit from hell, and she had   
Ranma off balance nearly the entire time.  
  
She shrugged it off, and made a quick scan of the family room, while the rest of   
the family was watching the now famous Saotome-Secret-Technique (hah!). There was   
nothing out of place, save for the phone-book opened to the food section. She specu-  
lated that the family would move the argument that was about to begin through the   
lower floor of the house, she quickly went to the kitchen.  
  
Once in the kitchen, she silently noted the locations of things. What was out of   
place and what wasn't, was the target. "Aha," she nearly murmured. That was it, right   
there on the table. She had spotted a pile of papers that had been apparently forgotten.   
  
Picking them up, she noticed that whoever, probably Ranma, had looked at them   
only noticed the top couple of sheets. She began to read them, well, skimming over   
them to get the gist of the paperwork. Ever so softly, she began to think out   
loud--contrary to her self taught principle of keeping silent on such things unless the af-  
fect was required. Her silent voice echoed through her own ears, "let's see, Skuld, age   
nine. Officially adopted by one Saotome Ranma, to be father of the one to be named   
Saotome Skuld the daughter of Saotome Ranma. Yeah, yeah, blah-blah, daughter?   
Daughter?!!?" Her voice betrayed her, and raised a level, "Oh, My."  
  
Knowing that someone had to have heard her, so she took the paperwork to her   
room to continue her investigation. Prancing by Kasumi, she said, "I'll be down in a   
minute; I have to finish up a bit of business." Then, Nabiki continued towards her room   
undisturbed.  
  
The first thing she did was verify that the papers looked legal, then she decided   
to look at the rest of them. She pulled a secret trick of her own, putting a pencil in her   
mouth. An act she learned long ago, one that helped her keep her own voice down   
when engrossed with something. From there, she began to go into the paperwork in   
earnest.  
  
"Hmm. Interesting," she thought as she read through the various parts of the pa-  
pers. D.H.R. would require him to be married within six months, or he may lose cus-  
tody. "Oh boy, what have you gotten yourself into, Saotome," She muttered then con-  
tinued to read. The case file stated that the girl loves ice cream, and some other fluff.   
"Hmm, this Skuld is very intelligent. Now there is something interesting. Well, she   
seems to be like all the other girls around here, when it comes to Saotome though," she   
thought. All in all, it may not be a bad thing--excepting for the extra mouth to feed.   
"Maybe, just maybe this will force Ranma into maturing a little. Well, one things for   
sure. One or two of those wayward fiance's may give up their claim over this..."  
  
She could hear the commotion downstairs. The various questions, and tempers.   
"Oh yeah, this is going to get interesting. What a genie you let out of the bottle, Sao-  
tome," she chuckled to no one in particular. Leaning back in her chair, she wondered if   
Akane would be the one to give up. What's more, she prayed that Akane would not be-  
come violent around little Skuld again. If Ranma wants this daughter, he may just grow   
a backbone about it, and a serious one too.  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sounds indicating Saotome's return. Taking   
a deep breath, she moved from her chair to diffuse the ticking time bomb below.  
  
Next Up:  
  
What's going to happen when Ranma gets back to the house? Will Nabiki keep   
down the collateral damage? How long will it be before Ranma wears the kanjii for   
'Baka' on his forehead? What's this, Ranma's curse is lifted just before a visit by   
mom--what's [Just an Innocent Panda] to do?   
  
Be here next time for: "Oooh, That Mechanical Voodoo That You Do!"  
  
------  
Notes: liked it? Hated it? Email me: targhan_aga@yahoo.com  
------  
Kami sama! Now all my Amiga friends know who wrote this junk! 


	2. Ooh! That Mechanical Voodoo that You Do!

A Divine Daughter

Part II: Ooh, That Mechanical Voodoo That You Do

By: Targhan

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used. Both series are distributed in the U. S. By Viz-Video. "Ah My Goddess" manga is available from _Dark Horse Comics_, and Ranma manga through _Viz_. If you really like this stuff, support the real thing! This fic, and all fanfictions written by Targhan are done on an Amiga computer--ZombiOS: the living dead computer! 

"I am going to get into this story. Just you wait and see!" -- Urd.

Introductory Notes:  
1. This fanfiction will have Skuld appearing to be at a younger age, to facilitate this story Why? Two reasons, the first is obvious from this, the first installment. Second, because she can. Oh yeah, Skuld is not dating Ranma in this little work, or anyone else for that matter.  
2. The author has shamelessly shoved a spoon into the Ranma 1/2 timeline; then, he stirred it up! Other notes of issue: Ranma's mother does not know about the curse yet, and she only gets to meet Ranko and her panda when she visits.  
**Clarification**: Ranma thought a smart-elec remark about a wish. Yggdrasil calculated the time required to fix all of Ranma's problems. Skuld is going to be around for a while to fix the problems. She's been designated as Ranma's adopted daughter to allow her the time necissary. (Remember, it took several episodes for the audience to learn that Belle messed with a few things to stay with Keiichi)

On the Threshold:

Thirty-one's was currently having a crisis in the Nerima district. That said shop had given out its allotment of "all you can eat" tickets to a fairly attractive young lady and her younger sister. While in itself this wasn't terrible, the fact that the two persons involved was Ranma and Skuld was a whole other matter entirely. The entire stock was gone, wiped out, kaput, devoured, and otherwise completely depleted. From this one incident, they received zero Yen and a lot of heartache. On the other side of the coin, the two patrons were extremely happy. They were even able to come to a mutual understanding; that being, Ranma was to be Skuld's daddy. 

While Ranma was to receive divine intervention on every level of his life, he would have to help the one delivering the said help. It basically boiled down to the fact that Skuld would have to either become a girlfriend (not plausible), sister (not helpful), or daughter (bingo!). The end result was that Ranma was to be responsible for her welfare. Due to the Yggdrrsl system, the seed was planted in both (in accordance to the wish sub-routines) to create the appropriate feelings. Amazingly, this was all settled along with their cover story between the round trip to the aforementioned ice-cream joint. The final leg of the trip returned them from whence they came, the Tendo home.

"Oh boy," began Ranma, "this is going to be a challenge like none so far." Taking a deep breath, he opened the gates to the Tendo home. Shaking his head, he and his daughter walked into the chaotic maelstrom of home.

Under normal circumstances, Ranma would be confronted with one angry individual after another. This time was different. Even after the speed training of the Amigourikan, he couldn't really tell what remark came from what source. Well, Kasumi's remark was notably hers. Other than the simple "Welcome home," the rest was an endless mass of berating questions and accusations.

"How could you do this?"  
"I knew he was a pervert, but this?"  
"What's the meaning of this?"  
"Worthless boy!"  
"How many bakas do we need under one roof?!!?"

Blinking a few times, Ranma looked around the living room. Akane had an aura about her being, but was in a fuming state. His father was berating him. Soun looked somewhat between brokenhearted and angry. Nabiki was standing on the stairs, taking deep breaths; she looked as if she were waiting for some opportunity. Kasumi kept peeking into the room from the kitchen, and her smile was taking a turn for the south. For one of the few times in his life, he felt unsure of what to do. He felt the small child hanging onto his pant's leg, and knew that she was hiding behind him from protection. His brow furrowed; this room was full or martial artists, who supposedly staked their existance on helping the weak. They, however, were being the aggressors.

His indecisiveness was based on all of these factors, yet there were no outright physical threats. The situation was an accident waiting to happen; luckily, Kasumi helped things along, after peeking for the umpteenth time. Ranma continued to stare at the room's occupants, as Kasumi made her way to him and the girl under his care. Ranma also noticed that she seemed to give the others an occasional glance of distaste. The whole thing was almost like slow motion: the multifarious jerks in the living room, Kasumi on her way, Nabiki on the stairs. At the tail end of all of this, Kasumi simply asked Ranma if she could take the little one into the kitchen with her--just in case.

Ranma was quick to agree with Kasumi, as he felt for sure that someone was going to end up getting a pounding. Ranma watched as nobody paid any attention to Skuld or Kasumi, and nobody noticed the bewildered look that Skuld as she listened to Kasumi's reassurances. 

Ranma did take note that when Skuld was out of the room, Nabiki made her move. Sooner or later, he was going to ask her about the way she seemed to have a plan for everything. Ranma could almost swear that the girl had a plan developed for an alien invasion, let alone anything he could get himself into. That aside, he paid close attention to what she was doing. She was taking each member of the household aside and chastising them individually. For the first time in his life, he really was speechless. No, not frozen up, like when he was the subject of a glomp. He was just speechless. Due partly to his own confusion, and partly to the fact that he was flabbergasted. They were treating this innocent child like she was some sort of fiance or something. He couldn't understand anyone's motives, save for Kasumi. The room full of emotional people were acting cold and heartless because of a little girl, for crying out loud. Except Nabiki, the one who was supposed to be cold and heartless. She was like some angel of fury; doing the things he could not do--the things he was never really prepared for. Even after he discussed things with his daughter, he just wasn't emotionally prepared for this kind of fight. Ranma finally just sat down, saying, "Damn it."

---

After waiting for the child to be removed from the room, Nabiki made her move. She was not about to let this get out of control. The kid was going to be here, and she needn't be berated for it. Then, she was going to let Saotome have it for bringing her into this mess.

As the moment presented itself, Nabiki hastened down the stairs. From the stairs, she took each one in turn, and let them have a piece of her mind. Hopefully, she could be callous enough to get the situation under control. At least, long enough to figure out what should be done about it altogether. The first person to meet the wrath of Nabiki was, no other than, her father.

"Father," she bellowed. The rest of the room's occupants seemed to die to a mumble at her outburst. Before Soun could turn completely towards her, she began, "How dare you do this father? Are you so stupid as not to realize that you could be killing the agreement between our clans yourself? Who is Ranma going to accept as his true fiance? She certainly will not be the one who turns from his daughter!" As her father began to wail, she moved to the next target.

She grabbed Akane's attention by the most simple method possible. Nabiki slapped her. Ignoring Akane's protests of "Hey! Why'de you hit me? This is all that jerks fault," she began a barrage.

"Akane what do you want from Ranma? No, don't tell me. You're going to chase him away because he has a heart. That's it, isn't it? Don't be an imbecile little sister! Don't be jealous because Skuld--that's her name by the way--is going to need a mamma; don't you think?"  
  
Nabiki began to move to Genma, and she heard Akane mumble something. A something very far from nice. She could have sworn that Akane said, "Poor kid. Ranma is going to turn her into a freak just like himself." Nabiki didn't wait to find out if Ranma heard it, that bit pissed her right off. Nabiki turned around, slapped Akane a second time, and said, "Grow up." Nabiki smirked; since, Akane ran to her room on that one. "Works every time," she said to herself.

Next, she caught Genma trying to make his way out of the house. Nabiki just followed him to the door, and said, "Go ahead, run from your family. Just run away from your own grandchild." Closing the door, she finished, "Because, you wouldn't run away from lil' ole' me, would you."

Finally, she had chased everyone from the room. Now, she could have sworn that she had just heard a "damn it" from somewhere. Ahh, yes. Ranma. Ranma probably assumed that they just 'knew' that it was his daughter. Grinning inwardly, she figured they all, specifically Akane, thought the girl was a fiance. Well, maybe Kasumi assumed correctly this time. She figured that she might as well get it started.

---

Ranma was snapped out of his revere by a hand on his shoulder. Looking up from the freshly emptied room, he saw Nabiki's lopsided grin. 

"Care to talk about this, Ranma?"

"I. I dunno what to say."

"I found the paperwork on the table, Saotome. You know, I'm the only one in the house with a level head right now. It really would be in your best interest. I'm not even going to charge you for my help concerning your daughter. This one is free. Now, start talking."

"I found her by a dumpster on my way past the hospital towards that Chinese place in town. She asked me to check on her mom. When I did, the lady was about to die. She begged me to take care of her little girl. She asked me to be Skuld's daddy, since they had no other family. The doctors weren't to happy 'bout it, but wasn't going to refuse her request. They said something about some stipulations, and I signed some kinda' paperwork. The woman died almost immediately after that. It was freaky, I tell 'ya. We gotta' go to her funeral day-after-tomorrow. I hope Skuld will hold up, I aint' no good at that mushy crap."

"You'll get good at it. Saotome, you'll have too. Oh, you better take good care of her. Ranma, from what I saw, she trusts you completely. She's gonna look to you for everything, but I'll help wherever I can."

"Thanks Nabiki. Uhm, I really don't know what to do, and with this curse..."

"Send her up to me later; I'll explain the curse."

"Nabiki, she knows about it. She's a lot smarter than most kids. I meant how am I gonna' keep other kids from pickin' at her 'n stuff?"

"Send her up later, anyway. If she's that smart, maybe she kind find something I can't. Just kidding Ranma, but I do want to talk to her about it. Now, you go talk to dad and Kasumi. I'll straighten your fiance out. Well, after I wash my mouth out with soap."

"Huh?"

"I used the 'F' word."

"Huhhh?!!?"

"Free, Ranma. Aaargh, I said it again. Look, just make sure that Daddy knows the girl is your legal daughter. Now, shoo."

---

Kasumi was amazed at how cheerful the smaller girl was, even just helping to make tea. As they were making tea, she learned that Skuld was apparently Ranma's daughter, and that wasn't so bad. She was such a nice sweet young girl. She absently wondered aloud how it came to be, and then listened to Skuld's tale.

She knew that Ranma was a secret softy, but this was just so amazing! She had long since determined that Ranma was a nice boy, but this act was really impressive. She marvelled at the tale; learning how this poor girl lost her mother. Kasumi was almost in tears herself; when, she realized at how much this little one loved her 'daddy.' The commotion outside the kitchen sounded like it was beginning to heat up, and she could hear the "shhhhh" sound of her father's deflating demon-head. 

Leaning down, Kasumi hugged the young black haired girl. She then tried to reassure her, "Don't worry, Ranma will be a fine daddy! You'll see, and, when everyone realizes that your aren't a fiancé, we'll all be a big happy family!"

Kasumi had her heart warmed as she heard little Skuld say, "Oh really! Thank you, auntie-Kasumi!" Then she heard her father walk into the kitchen. She could feel his sullenness, and decided to brighten him up with the news.

"Oh, Daddy! Isn't it wonderful," she exclaimed in her cheeriest voice. "Skuld is Ranma's adopted daughter! So, you'll be a grandfather really soon!"

Kasumi smiled at Skuld, and was curious to what she was thinking. Kasumi would have fainted if she knew the truth. Skuld, while still hugging Kasumi, just wondered how it was possible for Kasumi to sound just like her big sister. Well, Ranma said that she was angelic, so maybe that's why!

Soun didn't answer. His brain was overloaded, and he just muttered, "Grandfather, I'm a grandfather?" Then, he gave his eldest daughter a shock by passing out with the day's paper landing squarely over his face.

"Oh my!"

---

Later that evening, Nabiki was finishing up her diary entry. As she curled into bed, she wondered why she still did something so childish, and drifted off into a slumber. Not a completely restful slumber, as she was woken up on occasion to hear Ranma screaming at his father, "Move over Pops! Do you want to squash Skuld? Stupid Panda."

---

Dear Diary:

Good grief, it's been another day of surprises thanks to Saotome, again. I'm almost tired of writing about what that master of the mayhem-arts does; I mean he is my *SISTER'S* fiance. 

Today, he brought home an adopted daughter. Yes, Mr. Super-Ego managed to complicate his life further. Naturally, there was a big explosive confrontation about this, and, of course, everyone thought it was another fiance. It took some doing, but I think everyone in the house is going to accept it. Akane is holding a big grudge over it; even though, she brings in a stray pig expecting everyone to like it.

I wonder how his other fiances, and the rest of the wrecking crew, will react? If things go like they normally do, Shampoo and the Amazons will find out first. Ukyou is off on some cooking competition in another district, so we won't have to deal with her for a little while. Yes, diary, I said 'we.' Skuld is part of our family now, just like the rest of the Saotome's are. Oh yeah, I didn't mention that Ranma has six months to get married, did I? Well, I haven't told him yet either, so it's our secret--for now. 

Oh, diary, there was a couple of other items of note. The first is that Ranma's daughter came with a bank account. It's enough to cover her mother's funeral, some clothes for her and Ranma, and enough left over to help with the bills. Let me rephrase that, a lot of Yen will be left over to help with the house. This means, I finally get to take a little bit of a break. Ya'ay! I can get us bye on just the regular betting pools for a while. 

The other thing of note? I'm glad you asked. The heavens above must be watching, because Ranma's mom called before coming over. She'll be here tomorrow. Luckily, we had enough time to explain to Skuld how to act around Ranma's mother. She took it a little too well; because, she kept calling Ranma 'Ranko' and chasing him around with a water gun. Doesn't sound funny? Well, I should have mentioned that she rode on Genma-panda's back the entire time. I just wonder why daddy said, "A martial artist's life is fraught with peril," every time they passed by him?

Anyway, I should try to get some sleep before Skuld decides on another round of hugs. Oh, and thank all of the Kami's that tomorrow is Sunday, we're gonna need a plan to get Skuld into school without World War III breaking out.

-Nabiki

---

Somewhere Else:

Urd was livid! Somehow, the love octagon from the fiery depths of hell had been assigned to her little sister! She would not stand for it! Then again, she did just happen to find the mystical bottomless keg of ale; bah, the keg was more important. Anything of the magnitude of bottomless, particularly involving good liquor, had to be fully investigated prior to any other possible obligations.

---

Early Morning Tendo Home:

Humming cheerfully to herself, Kasumi was busy making breakfast. She was even more giddy than usual, as she had a new guest to feed. In fact, that house guest was up early too. She thought to herself that Skuld must like getting up early to play with her new Daddy and Granddaddy. It was just so cute! The little girl had some sort of toy hammer, and was running about smashing at invisible bugs. This was great! She just knew that Skuld was having a great time.

For her part, Skuld was exasperated. She didn't mind getting up in the morning, but this hour was not to her liking in the least little bit. Further, the way in which she was awoken left a lot to be desired. Granpa-baka doused water on her and Daddy to do some sort of training. Did she get to go back to sleep afterwards? No! Things went from bad to worse, as she noted the profusion of bugs in the house. If the number of them wasn't disturbing enough, the fact that they each seemed to have a target was just plain unnerving. Due to this, she had to have some "Bug-Beater" sent down.¹ She had to wonder what Auntie-Kasumi thought of her, as she began to run around spraying an invisible can at invisible targets. Darn it! She was supposed to try to fit in!

The morning sparring session had went well for Ranma; he managed to knock the old man into the pond in such a way that allowed him to get into the house without the retribution. Thus, he decided that this would be a great opportunity to get into the furo first. Quickly, he rushed to the bathroom; in hopes, that he could get there before his father did. When he reached the bathroom, he had another surprise altogether. Akane was on her way out of the restroom.

Although he was used to the morning hub-bub, he still didn't like being yelled at every time he came near a bathroom. Ya' know, it just isn't right. A guy goes to the throne-room, and gets handed his butt on a platter. (Far be it from Ranma, to realize that he nearly clobbered Akane on her way out. Nope, he never noticed it.) He was greeted with a very friendly comment from his iinzuke, "Hey! Watch where you're going, you jerk!"

Ranma's unique ability around women (yeah, right) allowed him to see that Akane was displeased; however, his same ability (again: yeah, right) missed the fact that his fiance hadn't accepted Skuld yet. Nope, he couldn't fathom why Akane would need more than eighteen or so hours to accept it. In this way, he also missed that she would be just so easy to tick off; an argument ensued.

Somewhere between all of the name calling, Skuld had more than she could stand of it. She hadn't ever seen any two people fight this much, save for Urd and Keichii. Yet, Urd and Keichii wasn't engaged. This kinda stuff just gave her headaches. All of this introspection is one thing, but when that Akane pulled out a mallet she had seen enough. Within a blink of an eye, Skuld's own hammer hit home--right on Akane's forehead.

The blow didn't have much force to it. The amount of force used wouldn't hurt any of the Nerima residents or their additional visitors. In the end, the desired effect was achieved. Akane's hammer returned to the place from which it came. 

---

"Ranma, why didn't you stop her?"

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that.. Heh heh. Hehehe, hahahahahaha"

"Grrr. What are you laughing at, Baka!"

"Baka. Baka. Bahhhh-kaaaaAhahahhahhaaa!"

---  
Akane looked at the jerk in front of her, then to his new daughter, then back at him. Did it leave a mark? How could such a light blow have left a mark? The question was answered as Nabiki came down the hall, "Hey, Akane. What's that on your forehead? Huh?" Without wasting a second, Akane ducked back into the bathroom. There, she saw kanji on her forehead that read, "Baka." Needless to say, when she came out of the bathroom her arms were aligned straight down her side, and she was burning mad. 

That is when a very, very, very bad thing happened. It wasn't that she heard her sister laughing; nope, Nabiki could be ignored. It was that, that, that Jerk! She actually heard him scolding Skuld. Was he scolding her for being mean to his fiance? NO! He was telling Skuld that she should have used the words "Sexless Tomboy!" Then, the whole neighborhood heard the bloodcurdling scream, "Rrraaaaaaaaannnnnnnmmaaaaaaaaa Noooooooo BaaaaaaaaaKaaaaa!"

Baths and morning rituals forgotten, Ranma grabbed Skuld to get her out of harm's way, and ran down the stairs. While, Nabiki simply stepped back into her room; saying, "Way to go Saotome. Dork." This left Akane to slow the spinning motion of her hammer. Her only thought was, "This isn't over, Ranma." If her thoughts were vocal, the words would have dripped with venom.

At the breakfast table, things were a bit quieter. The kanji was no longer on Akane's forehead (whether by scrubbing, scraping, or magic no one was really sure). Ranma made sure he sat on Akane's side of Skuld for obvious reasons, and Kasumi was as chipper as ever. The fathers took note of the tension in the air, and ignored it completely. Chaos ensued. The family broke out into their battle zones, including Kasumi; she prepared tea. It would be difficult for anyone to follow any individual statements, as the kitchen sounded more like a school lunchroom with good acoustics.

The war of words was over with Akane leaving the house via the front door. Opening the door, she bellowed, "I hate you, Ranma, and that daughter of your's too. I'm going to a friends house, and when I get back someone else had better volunteer to be your fiance. Because, I'm through with you. I hate... Oh, uhm. Hi Auntie-Nodoka. I was just leaving, bye!"

"Young lady, you wait right there! What do you mean you hate my son? Why are you calling off the engagement? What do you mean that he has a daughter? Is he here, and what was that splashing sound? Hey! Come back! It's not proper to run away when your elder is talking, Akaneeeeeee," this was utterly confusing to Nodoka. She just didn't understand one bit of this; it wasn't right. She was angry that something like this was happening, but didn't know who to direct it at. Was her son at fault, or was Akane the bad apple? Then, it could be just a lover's quarrel. The whole train of that thought was completely derailed as one word sank in, "Daughter." Her son must be VERY MANLY indeed to have sired her a grandchild at such an early age!

Stepping the rest of the way into the house, she noticed something was out of place. Ranko and the panda were standing by the door, visibly shaken. Tendo-san looked as if he needed a valume really bad, and Kasumi was smiling with a tea tray. Oh, and the middle Tendo daughter was standing in a corner holding a bucket with one hand, and had the other one covering her face. Blinking a few times, she asked, "What just happened here, and where is my son and husband?" She almost missed the little black-haired girl crying into the side of Ranko. After her second look, she zipped past all of the excuses being shot at her to Ranko and the little girl.

Nodoka had been expecting a newborn, or at least a baby, but the young girl was the only one she hadn't met before. Nodoka noticed the room go silent as she pried the girl out of Ranko's hands; ahh, that must be a sign. She asked on question to the little girl, "Are you Ranma's daughter?" Suddenly the whole house grew silent out of anticipation. Nerves were already frayed, and another argument was expected. At this point, Genma even had the [I'm just an innocent panda] sign at the ready.

When the little girl nodded an affirmative, Nodoka's eyes grew wide--really wide. Her eyes were almost the size of a softball, and her facial features turned from a concern to an almost weepy expression. Then, she suddenly had Skuld in a bear hug, and squealed, "YOU ARE SO CUTE!" Nodoka could almost hear everyone blink-blinking, as she babbled with the little girl about how cute she was. 

The rest of the room picked up bits and pieces of the baby-talk, as they stared in shock. They heard things like, "Wot's my gwanbaby's name, hmm," and "We can do shoppin' togetha' and all kinda fun stuff!" A rather large sweatdrop appeared on Soun's forehead, as he realized just how much coddling the boy would have had to endure, and Genma passed out.

The room's occupants snapped back to life when the discussion turned to a more realistic scene. Nodoka, with one arm around Skuld and the other on the katana, began speaking, and not a soul spoke without being spoken to.

---

"Little one, who made you cry?"

"Akane did."

"Why is that?"

"She was mean to Daddy and me. Daddy got so mad that he left." sniffle

"Do you know where he went?"

"Daddy went to play roof-hopping, and Granddaddy went to chase him."

"I, uh, see. That sounds like something that my husband would teach Ranma."

"It wasn't fair; I told her to stop being mean to Daddy, and she wouldn't"

"What did she do that was so mean, hmm?"

"She said that she didn't want to be Daddy's fiance anymore, and that she didn't like me."

On the sidelines of this exchange, Ranma paled.

"Was there anything else?"

"Uh-huh! She said that another Tendo should be the one."

"Ranko, dear, is this true?"

"Uhhm, yes." very low voice

"What was that dear?"

"Yes, it's true."

"I see. Didn't you say that Ranma was manly, Ranko?"

"Yes. He is the best! Ranma is awesome!"

"So you really like Ranma, huh?"

"Very much Auntie Nodoka, but what has.."

"Tendo-san" Nodoka cuts Ranko off

"Yes, Mrs. Saotome?" twitching

"I would like you to ask your sister or brother if Ranko could satisfy family honor on Akane's behalf."

"But.. But.. But... But... "

---

At this point, Nodoka looked at Skuld, and winked. Then she announced to the room, before the explosive nature could wreak havoc on her idea, that she would be back later that evening. Also, she mentioned, since her son and husband were in town; she would very much like to see them when she returns. When she walked out of the house, she left an incredibly confused household in her wake.

---

After Nodoka Left:

Ranma was left alone to deal with the wrath of the two patriarchs, as each of the others had important things to take care of. Kasumi had to clean the kitchen, which was in terrible shape. Nabiki informed Ranma that she was going to work on Skuld's paperwork for enrollment in Nerima-Elementary; somehow, nobody questioned why Nabiki kept that sort of paperwork in her room. Finally, Skuld said that she had a surprise that she was working on in the dojo, and she disappeared. Ranma's hand found it's way to his pony tail, and he stated, "Eh-eheheheh, oops."

Nabiki silently cursed, as she pinged away at her typewriter. She really wanted to get a small computer, but her family's budget wouldn't allow for it. Her grumblings would occasionally increase as the screams of "How could you" or "Stupid old-man," reverberated off the walls of the house. She was determined to finish, but the sounds of the periodic power tool and hammer started to replace those of the angry males. This continued until she no longer heard anyone screaming, but the sounds of machine work was almost all encompassing. "What is that NOISE?!!?"

---

After the argument was finished (with no results, naturally), Ranma found his way to the roof of the Tendo home. There, he meditated to the rhythmical beat of whatever his daughter was doing in the dojo. He knew when Akane arrived, since she made a production of slamming her door. The hours drone on, as he thought about what to do about his curse, his daughter, his fiance's, and in general his life. "Man, Skuld is nice, but wishes STILL suck."

Even with the events of the last day, Ranma was still Ranma. In other words, meditation and self-reflection turned to snoozing. To the casual onlooker, the sight would have been a little strange. People just don't sleep balancing on their head. They don't do it on the roof of a house. They don't do it in the middle of the day. They don't do it in Nerima. They just don't do it. 

As the afternoon wore on, Skuld decided that she had finished "The Curse Remover." This invention would not only cure Ranma of his curse, but would get rid off all of the guys trying to chase his cursed form. Her Daddy would be SO happy! Not everyone had a genius goddess for a daughter! All to do now was to call for him, "Daddy! Daddy! Come see what I made for you!"

Kasumi imagined that Skuld had made some sort of cute origami for Ranma, or maybe she was talented enough to make a basket! Soun and Genma were involved with a game of shogi, hoping for some waterproof soap to appear. Nabiki took it as a cue to finish up her other business ventures, so she could see what all of that noise was about. Ranma sleepily looked in the direction of the voice; then, lost his balance, and fell. 

To be more precise, he fell over. Then, he slid to the edge of the house. After a bit of cursing himself, Ranma went to check on Skuld. The sight in the dojo frightened him; although, he would never admit to it. His eyes darted back and forth, scanning the mass of metal in front of him. "What is all of this, Skuld," he asked.

Beaming proudly, Skuld replied, "Why it's the Curse-Remover! It's going to cure you of that turning into a girl problem! Ranma? Daddy? Hey!" She was slightly taken back at her adopted father's speed, yet she was pleasantly surprised at just how quickly he jumped into the chair. No one took to one of her inventions THAT quick before! 

Ranma spoke really fast, as he inquired about how soon they could start. He also babbled all about how great this was. While they were both babbling at each other about pride and cures, a bug found it's way in the door. The bug was a very happy bug. The bug looked strange with its circlet emblem on its forehead. The bug munched on a wire near the door. This was the definition of a happy bug; it had located the heavenly equivalent of Cat-5, and was having a feast. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Unknown to the goddesses, the various cables used in heavenly systems had different flavors. Also, each bug had his, or her, favorite. There were power cables, communications cables, magic cables, and a whole host of others. Now, each cable has a flavor associated with its job. Every now and then, some cables carry signals and power. These cables, above all others, were a delicacy! Urd smiled evilly as she realized that the author had managed to get completely off track. Her grin widened as she began her long monologue, "Yes! Muhahahah, urk...."  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suddenly, the bug eep'ed, then jumped to the side. The universe stopped at a temporarily new focal point: The Tendo Dojo. Ranma was seated in a chair within the said dojo; his head strapped into some contraption with various colored lights. Skuld was pulling a knife-edge switch down into the "on" position, and time almost seemed to stop. Nabiki's foot went directly between the frayed edges of the wire with the missing chung; what's worse, is that it was the exact moment the switch reached the on position. 

Time came sped back to its normal pace, as there was crackling, popping, and explosive sounds. Smoke rose from various places of the "Curse Remover." Nabiki lit up like a Christmas tree, and quaked violently. Smoke was rising from several places, like Ranma's head. Speaking of Ranma, the pupils of his eyes moved back and forth independently. 

Skuld blinked several times, and looked back and forth. In her professional judgment, this was not good. Grabbing the pitcher of water, she said, "Well, let's see how it worked!" She then proceeded to dump its contents over Ranma's head.

Ranma came back to reality, as the cold liquid contacted his body. He looked at his hands and his chest. His chest was still of the male variety. Male. He was still male. He was doused with cold water and he was still a he! Ranma bounced up and down; then, asked to be hit with more water!

Skuld was more than happy to comply, as it wasn't every day that someone WANTED to be splashed with water. She was prepared too; since, she knew how the curse worked. Skuld had stocked up on various bowls, buckets, and cups containing hot and cold water. She was so proud! The happiness that her Daddy exhibited was warming her heart! That's when she noticed that something wasn't quite right.

Ranma was still dancing around happily, while being splashed with water of differing temperatures. Then, he stopped, and allowed his eyes to follow his daughter's gaze. HE was hit with cold water, and NABIKI turned into a slightly shorter redhead. Then, Ranma was hit with warm water; thus, the redhead disappeared--replaced by Nabiki. Skuld continued to barrage Ranma with water, and watching Nabiki.

Nabiki finally had enough of the stares, "Why are you guys looking at me?" Then her voice shifted to the one she reserved for demeaning others, "Am I supposed to be impressed with the fact that Ranma's curse is cured? Well, I'm impressed. Why are you still looking at me?" She became even more irritated when Ranma began to point at her, and Skuld began apologizing. She looked down, and realized that she had slightly more chest than before. Her eyes went wide, and she screamed, "Aaaaaaaaaah!"  
  
--- BEGIN NOTES ---

¹Bug-Beater is a joke that references to http://www.datadocktorn.nu/ . If you have a color printer and an aerosol can, you can make your own can of Bug-Beater. The author suggests using an air-can, as you wouldn't want someone spraying your computer with Lysol!

--- NEXT TIME ---

Ranma is only half cured? Now when Ranma is splashed with cold water, Nabiki becomes Ranko! Don't worry! Hot water will reverse Nabiki's condition--when applied to Ranma. What is going to happen when Ranma's mother returns? More importantly, what will Nabiki do about this new curse?

Be here next time for, "A spur in the side: Nabiki's Revenge" Revenge has never been so fun!


	3. A Spur in the Side, the Revenge of Nabik...

**A Divine Daughter**  
**Part III. A Spur in the Side: The Revenge of Nabiki.**
    
    ****

Revised: April 16, 2002

By: Targhan  
targhan_aga@yahoo.com

=====================================================================

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used. Both series are distributed in the U. S. By Viz-Video. "Ah My Goddess" manga is available from _Dark Horse Comics_, and Ranma manga through _Viz_. If you really like this stuff, support the real thing! This fic, and all fanfictions written by Targhan are done on an Amiga computer

===============

"I'll be your guide for your trip through.. Huh? What do you mean this isn't the Twilight Zone? Nerima? Ah HELL NAW! I AIN'T HERE! Count me out. This place is to freaking weird, even for me." -- Dante (well, not really.)

"See? I told you I would get into this story." -- Urd

=====================================================================

Part One: The Dojo

Nabiki just saw an increased size to her chest size. Either she had an instant growth spurt, or she had just been on the receiving end of Ranma's Curse. She really only had one choice of action, and she took it. She screamed. Thinking on her feet, she concluded that she needed time to determine how to handle this new state of affairs. She couldn't very well do it standing here either, so she enacted a very seldom used special maneuver that allows her to gain information without playing any cards. She fainted.

Ranma was the first to react; he immediately jumped out of the contraption, and moved to Nabiki's side. Looking at her, he knew he was going to be in for it when she came around. Ranma's new daughter was right behind him, and she had already produced a small electronic gadget. True to his training, he had quickly gathered her vitals, as one would do for a fallen comrade. Determining that she was in no danger, he began to question his daughter, "What happened? Uhm, can you fix this?"

Skuld simply stated, "Apparently, she stepped on a wire that had been broken. Well, it looks like she gets to have the results of your curse. It was supposed to go to that blue transduction crystal, but with the broken wire she got it. If all of the parts are OK, I can fix the machine; then, maybe I can get rid of it." Noticing Ranma's look, she continued, "It's easier to build something than to fix it. Right now, when you get splashed with water Nabiki will suffer the effects of the curse. That means, to change her back, you have to be splashed with hot water. She should be OK; except, she changes forms. It's kinda neat how she kept her hairstyle!"

Listening closely to the conversation, Nabiki had calculated that she was stuck like this for a while. "Well," she thought, "it's not like something like this wasn't bound to happen sooner or later. I should know better than to poke my nose into anything that Ranma is doing; well, sticking my nose directly in the line of fire."  
  
After a few moments of being carried, she noted the many cries of protest around her. "I must be in the house now," she thought solemnly, "now only if I can be left alone for a while." As if her simple request was rejected by the gods, she felt what was the couch beneath her. This wasn't good; she was stuck listening to all the verbal abuse, while trying to come up with a reasonable plot for revenge. Well, not really revenge, just a way to make sure that this situation was cured ASAP.

Her father was crying, and blubbering something to the effect of "My poor little girl." Nabiki wasn't too keen on that particular aspect of her father's personality, but it was rather upsetting. Ranma was trying to explain what happened; while, his father was berating him. Akane wasn't pleased; then again, she was starting to realize that Skuld wasn't another fiancée. Her little sister could be so slow sometimes; it was amazing. "Damn it," she thought, "I'm supposed to be coming up with a plan here. These arguments are the family fights that I get to have a little fun with, not the fights I'm supposed to be the subject of."

"OK," she began analyzing, "one, I'm stuck with turning into Ranma's girl half. Two, I will not have the control of the curse's trigger very often. Three, I have to make the fact that I turn into Ranko as annoying to Ranma as possible. That's it! Ranko! I will play the part of Ranko to the hilt; with my own added curve-ball. When he gets doused with cold water, I will turn into the most annoying **Ranko **ever! To top it off, I'll act just like Ukyou and Shampoo--that should annoy Ranma to no end."

Still analyzing the situation, Nabiki heard a reminder that Nodoka was supposed to be coming back soon from Genma. She had forgotten all about that, and the reminder wasn't too pleasant to Akane either. Nabiki didn't have to hear Akane's remarks, but she did anyway, "Well Mr. I'm-engaged-to-myself, you can be engaged to Nabiki again for all I care. You need to be taught a lesson anyway!"

"Great. Way to go, little sister," Nabiki thought. "At the first sign of trouble, you do the predictable thing," she continued to surmise. At this rate, those two will never get over their own egos. She was getting off track again, and she didn't have all night to think about it. 

Nabiki wondered momentarily about how Ranma would react to her little plan. She assumed that he would treat her like all the other fiancées. That wouldn't be good; she needed Ranma to cover her butt from the likes of his fiancées. That's when realization came home to roost, "Ranma doesn't want this body molested--it's his. All I have to do is remind him of what people want to do with his female half, and I bet he'll freak. Ooh Saotome, you are going to be working your ass off now! Oh yeah--if I have to be your fiancée in front of Mrs. Saotome, Ranma; you had better be prepared. I'm going to make Shampoo look like a novice in front of your mom!"

Nabiki had to fight to keep an evil grin from adorning her face. Determining that there was still some shock value in the whole situation, she concluded that waiting on auntie would be the best action. This way, she could catch Ranma off guard and worry him for a while. With her plan finalized, she tuned back into the world around her. The screaming, arguing, and occasional crashing sounds were indicative of a regular family brawl. However, she noticed that something, or someone, was missing. Where was that kid of Ranma's?

In the Dojo  
=========

Skuld had a headache. Scratch that; she had a migraine. Her first solo assignment, and she had gotten the grandaddy of all love triangles. Mixed in with all the love interest in the one guy who wasn't that interested in a love interest, she had curses, magic, and weirdos to deal with. Yes, Ranma deserved to have a wish; he deserved an army of wishes. Ranma was a good guy, yet he had more things going wrong than the Titanic ever did. Skuld was more than just angry; she was angry at herself. All that work she did to make sure the work-area was bug-free was up in a single puff of smoke. 

Looking up at her machine, Skuld felt disparity. Her very first attempt to fix something had gone all kinds of wrong. If there was anything that bothered her, it was messing something up. Looking back down, she remembered how the wish was **really **granted. She remembered how time had stopped on the mortal plane at the exact moment she began to glow. She recalled that Yggdrasil had advised that she speaks with the other Norns about exactly how to grant this wish. Even with all that, it was the big powwow with her sisters that stood out the most.

**FlashBack**

"Now Skuld, you'll do just fine," her sister, Belldandy, said with a voice that conveyed a confidence. The look her sister wore was one of pride; her sister was proud of her. Skuld hadn't even done a thing to help the boy, and her sister was proud.

"Oh," begun her eldest sister, Urd, "you have studied this case twice as hard as what is necessary, you should do just fine. Besides, I'll be here to help; this kind of thing is **my** cup of tea."

Skuld was speechless; Urd even offered her own twisted help. Looking down, Skuld made a futile complaint, "According to Yggdrasil, I'll have to be a kid. I am **not **a kid! Further, I don't want to even pretend to be a kid."

Belldandy knew that was coming; Skuld could tell--her sister wore a **that **face again. When her sister wore that face, Belldandy was going to explain something that she should see as obvious. Then, Belldandy started, "I suppose you could be his girlfriend, but that would add to the problems you are supposed to fix. His current set of fiancées would even suspect a cousin, and a sister would require even more messing around with the time-stream. Hmmm, you could just take breaks. Besides, you know you aren't a child, and a real adult knows when they have to do something they don't like for the greater good."

Skuld was defeated, and she conceited, "I guess you're right. Besides, Ranma will know I'm not a kid."

Urd decided to throw her own remarks in, "Yes, he will. You've watched him enough to know that he will treat you well too. It is going to be difficult, but you can do it. I don't think that I've seen a case as deserving as his for a very long time."

Skuld looked back and forth between her sisters, and knew that she really could do it. Further, she wasn't being looked at as a kid from the people that counted. She was doing a very important service for someone who deserved it. She did briefly wonder how his life seemed to continue to slip under the radar. Putting that aside, she knew this job was going to be long and arduous. In a way, it could be like her sister's contract with Keichii. The notable difference was that she could "grow up," and spend only the amount of time necessary to help her new "father."

Noting that Skuld's spirits were up, Belldandy decided to put the icing on the cake. She told her little sister that she would personally oversee the changes to time. Finally, Belldandy told her little sister that it would only be days before Ranma would care for her so much that he wouldn't risk his life, but give it, for Skuld's well being. Although, Belldandy was fairly confident that Skuld would know this already; a little confidence booster wouldn't hurt.

Before long, Skuld was returned to the Earth to inform Ranma that his wish had been granted.

**END FLASHBACK**

Skuld brightened at the thought that Belldandy had promised to check on her at the funeral of her earthly mother. She may have let Ranma down with her machine, but she would fix it for him. Skuld determination finally began to seep through her depression; she had a reason to keep trying. Ranma depended on her, and she would not let him down in the end. Finally, Skuld was feeling a little better; although, she could do without those bugs.

An Hour Later  
===========

Concern finally began to grow phenomenally in the living room, as Nabiki didn't seem to be waking. Soun began his enactment of a lawn care product (the sprinkler), and Kasumi wanted to call the kind doctor. Genma was berating Ranma, and Akane was agreeing with him. The lesser active of the group was Skuld and Ranma.

Skuld was trying to apologize to Nabiki, while Ranma tried to convince Skuld that it wasn't really her fault. 

About the time that everyone agreed to call Doctor Tofu, there was a knock at the door. As if on cue, the occupants of the room stopped, and looked at the door. In that moment, Kasumi moved deftly moved to the door; then, opened it. Wearing an inviting smile, she asked, "Oh, Auntie Saotome! Won't you please come in?"

The declaration of "Oh, Auntie Saotome," was another cue of particular importance in the Tendo home. This was the indication that Ranma and Genma were to disappear, and Mr. Panda and Ranma were to return in their place. Not surprisingly, the fresh change in the situation would not dawn on either Ranma or his father. Thus, the splashing noise behind the house accompanying Nodoka's arrival played out once more.

At the place of splashdown, Ranma hit his father over the head, "Stupid panda. Why'de ya' do that for?" 

The sign reading "Stupid boy, your mother is here" came up (amazingly, before the panda's head did), and connected with Ranma's head with a resounding **whack**. 

Rubbing his head, Ranma climbed out of the pond; then, realized that he was still a he. His eyes grew wide, and Ranma rushed into the house screaming, "Mom," repeatedly. As he left, Mr. Panda just waddled out of the pond, and groaned.

Mr. Panda moved into the lotus position, and propped his little (ok, big) panda head on his fist. Then, he rolled his eyes, while making a grumbling noise. 

Nearby, Nabiki decided it was time for her revenge. It wouldn't last long, but the look on the martial artist's face would be priceless. "Now, how should Ranko make her appearance," she mentally questioned. Grinning evilly, she added, "it's a good thing that Saotome doesn't hold a grudge for very long." With that, she proceeded into the back yard.

The panda's grumbling noise quickly turned into a surprised "Graawf," as he was nocked immediately back into the pond. Above the surface of the water, Genma spotted Ranma running from someone.Propping his weight onto his arms at the edge of the Koi Pond, Genma watched in horror as his son was running like a girl. He was running like a girl in front of his mother; worse, he was running from a girl in front of his mother. Unnoticed by Mr. Panda, the Koi had enough company for one night, so it bit the panda; the bite was noticed. Genma jumped out of the pond in one giant leap screaming something that while sounded completely panda, was most likely a string of colorful adjectives.

The activity that Mr. Panda had been watching was Ranko chasing Ranma all about the Tendo Compound. Ranko was making various declarations of love, and Ranma was making various gagging noises.

"Ranma, my sweetheart, we are to be wed! You and I, we will be together as one! Come back here Ranma! Your mom said that it would be manly for you to take me **before **our marriage," bellowed Ranko. Nabiki was having the time of her life; she had never seen anyone running that fast lose their cookies!

While Ranma was freaked out like never before, Kasumi was politely serving tea. The majority of the household stared in awe, while taking the tea that was so kindly offered. Yet, Skuld was of a different mind-set entirely. Ranma's daughter had seen many things, but this took the cake. Skuld started with a chuckle, advanced to laughter; then, finally lost all composure laughing at the antics before her.

"How in the hell did Nabiki get so fast," thought Ranma, as he dodged another leaping glomp. He ducked from another grab, and continued his flight. "Does Nabiki really think that she is Ranko? Did she get some of my toning of that body," he questioned himself as he made a last ditch effort to get away. His final move was to jump onto the roof, hoping that Ranko wouldn't jump after him. The final move was in vain, as he met the flat side of a....Table?!!?

Akane had enough watching this travesty in justice. She pulled the table out of the kitchen, and used it on that pervert. Satisfied with the loud thump, she said, "You look like you're trying to put on a show of innocence, you pervert." With her good deed done, Akane headed into the house to look for their industrial sized bottle of aspirin.

Outside, Ranko had captured Ranma, and was making purring sounds at him. In response, Ranma was flailing trying to get away. Ranma was in utter dismay; he did not want those body parts rubbing against him, and the purring sounds were grinding at his very sanity.

"That's enough dear."

Turning to see the source of the comment, Ranko saw Nodoka smiling. Then, she heard Nodoka say, "It's **Mommy's **turn!"

"Gaaaah," was about the extend of Ranko's verbal capacity, as she was knocked aside. Falling flat on her back, Ranko stared at the bear hug that Nodoka had pulled her son into.

"Mom," Ranma stuttered, "I. Can't. Breathe." The pressure to Ranma's midsection relented by a bit, and Ranma suddenly became ecstatic. "Mom," he exclaimed with a fervent joy that he had not used in quite some time. "I, I just can't believe that you're finally here," he stated with only the slightest waver in his voice.

"My son! My son has been returned to me after ten very long years," Nodoka stated in much the same voice (except female, naturally). In fact, Nodoka was speaking at the same time as Ranma. Her eyes began to water, and grew out of proportion to her face. She began babbling at Ranma in the same baby voice she had used with Skuld earlier in the day, "My widdle boy has come back to his momma, all gwone up! My widdle man is now da' man amongst men, yes he is!"

Somewhere in the Tendo's backyard, a panda could be heard planting his face into the ground. If anyone could tear their eyes from the scene made by Ranma and his mother, they would have noticed the panda-sign reading, "Tendo, old friend, I told you she would coddle the boy." Luckily for him, no one saw the sign, as Mrs. Saotome might have asked questions.

"I'm not a widdle-man, mom," Ranma began, he was in utter shock. Could this really be the same woman who carried around a death-sentence?

Nodoka's eyes began to tear up, and her lips quivered (mind you, the eyes are still immensely oversized). "Nononono, I wait ten years to see my precious widdle man, and this is how you treat your MOMMY?!!?"

The sweat-drops forming on the heads of the collective residents of the Tendo Dojo could be used to recover a third world country from a drought of Biblical proportions. This was Mrs. You-Will-Commit-Sepukku Saotome?

"Uhm, Mom," Ranma began again, "please don't cry. I can be your little boy. That is, uhm, if you want me to."

"Oh! You will? Really? Oh my widdle MAN," her voice was cracking from so many pent-up emotions. She almost glowed with happiness, and the majority of the folks in the yard were still struck speechless.

Ranma, who was slightly unnerved, simply asked, "Mom, what exactly did you mean by manly?"

Nodoka simply leaned over to Ranma's ear, and whispered something that only he could hear. He seemed to have asked another silent question, and gotten some sort of an answer to it. It was obvious to those around him that Ranma was utterly flabbergasted. How? Ranma had jumped sky-high, and he was making warding gestures with his hands.

When Ranma finally made his way back down to the ground, his mother looked normal without the ultra-kawaii facial expression. Looking at her son, she simply stated, "Son, as you should know by now, Ranko is your new fiancee. I expect you to treat her well."

Ranma's face went blank. What could he do? What could he say? Ranma wondered whether or not he should just mention the curse. After all, he technically wasn't cursed anymore. He continued his internal deliberations for a while; noting, his mother was speaking to Skuld about something.

After a time, Nodoka informed everyone that she was leaving to allow Ranma and Ranko some time together.

Ranma wasn't too pleased about this turn of events; he wanted to spend time with his mother. "Mom," he began, "You just got here, can't you stay?" As far as Ranma was concerned, his Pop could stay a panda for a while.

Soun stepped in, "Now son, that is a lovely idea. Your mother though needs a few days to collect her things. Then, we could allow her to stay here with us! Yes, Genma would be most pleased to see his wife when he comes back from his training-trip."

The afore-mentioned panda stared on nervously. The boy had done this on purpose. What had he done to make Tendo so angry at him? His wife couldn't see him like **this!**

Somehow, things just didn't go as Ranma had imagined. His mother's idea of manliness was perverse. Nabiki didn't just get the results of the curse, she turned into some sick form of his Ranko act. She even went to the point of going by and kicking his Pops. "Not that he didn't deserve it," he mentally added.

**Part Two: Aftermath**

"Aaaargh," she complained chucking her diary at the wall, "I'm so mad I can't even make tonight's diary entry." In one huff, Akane's anger seemed to dissipate into sadness. "Oh, Ranma," she said in a whisper, "why can't you just talk to me?" She pulled her pillow closer, and whispered again, "I can be a good mother."

As she began thinking of trying to make up with Ranma, she heard something from downstairs. She heard Nodoka telling Ranma that she changed the engagement for him, and that he should be happy to have a fiancée like Ranko. Akane did not like where that was going; then, she heard Ranma agreeing with his mother. That perverted baka could have Ranko for all she cared. 

Suddenly, she smiled. "Ranma, Nabiki is going to kill you when she can control her body again," she thought evilly before turning in. She was going to go to sleep; her diary could wait. If she had to listen to any more of that mess from downstairs, she would have to do something about it. Resigned to let Nabiki dish out Ranma's fate, she crawled into bed.

Later that Evening  
===============

"Do not look at me in that manner," began an obviously tired Nabiki. Raising an eyebrow at the various states of disbelief from her audience, she continued, "Did you all believe that **I **became someone else?" Her audience simply nodded. "Honestly," she began again, "I'm stumped at how gullible you people can be." The two fathers, Kasumi, and Ranma (Skuld had already hit the hay) continued to just stare at Nabiki in shock.

Rolling her eyes, Nabiki was a little tired of this completely one sided conversation that began when Auntie Saotome left. Letting out a strained sigh, she finished up, "It was all an act. I acted like the Ranko that Auntie Saotome expected. Really, it isn't that hard to figure out, people. If you don't mind, I'm tired, sore, and would like to go to bed." Then, for good measure, she placed her hands on her hips, shook her head, and turned around.

Moving towards the stairs, she grabbed Ranma's arm. Then, using almost a whisper, she asked, "Saotome, please help me up the stairs?" Hearing his slight groan, she tightened her grip, and added, "It's not like I want help, Saotome. I'm sore, because I was covering your tail."

As Ranma kept Nabiki moving up the stairs, Nabiki moved her legs as little as possible. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, Nabiki informed Ranma, "You can let go now; unless, you want to bathe me." Ranma let out an "eep," and let go. Before he could get too far away, Nabiki gave him one last bit of warning, "Fiancée or no fiancée, the next time you make me chase you like that, Saotome, you will either give me a massage, or hire a professional masseuse to do it for you. Oh! Before I forget, you are going to protect that female half of yours, aren't you?" Without giving Ranma a chance to answer, she disappeared into the baths.

Ranma was disgusted. Not only had Nabiki made a fool of him, but he was going to have to protect her until they got this thing straightened out. Ranma muttered to himself as he went back down, "What was she thinking? Let's chase Ranma around until I can't walk. Jeez, needing help to the bath." Ranma shook his head at that; he was just thankful that she really wasn't the Ranko she pretended to be. "Damn, she's even scarier than Kodachi," Ranma shivered as he considered it.

---

It was three-thirty in the morning. "Who in their right mind bothers anyone at this god-forbidden time," Nabiki questioned to no one in particular. 

"I'm sorry," came Skuld's answer in a small voice. "I had a bad dream, and daddy won't wake up," she continued.

Nabiki looked at the girl beside her bed, and remembered losing her own mother. She remembered that it was a very hard and scary time; also, she remembered how Kasumi helped her. "C'mon," she said softly, "You can sleep with me."

"Hai," came Skuld's reply, "Arigato." Skuld was happy for the comfort, but was concerned about the way the memories of her "mother" were coming in. She also hoped that Ranma would be ok; since, he would be getting some new memories from Yggdrasil too.

As Nabiki lay there, she mentally slapped herself, "The hell was I thinking? I should have brought her to Akane. Well, maybe that wouldn't have been a good idea with the way she's been acting." Resigned that she had not made a mistake, Nabiki closed her eyes to go back to sleep. 

---

Another Manic Monday  
===================

Sitting at the breakfast table, Ranma wondered where the sudden splash of cold water came from. While he knew that he was a water magnet, he was at the kitchen table for crying out loud. Then he heard his female-half's voice, "Ranma, you mother will be by soon to go to the funeral soon. She expects Ranko to accompany you, so you be prepared, darling." Ranma winced at the icy tone Nabiki used with the word Darling. 

Akane was just grinning throughout breakfast. Ranma couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand the silent treatment; he couldn't stand Akane enjoying the fact that Nabiki had turned him into some sort of personal joke. Having about all he could take of Akane's abstinence, he verbally lashed out. The statement was simple, "No matter how mean Nabiki is; she doesn't have a damned **mallet**." 

Kasumi witnessed the fight begin, and was ready to complain. Yet, Skuld had broken the whole incident up quickly, and Kasumi was relieved that she had. Skuld simply produced one of Genma-Panda's signs that read, "But **I **do!" In response to this, Kasumi watched as Ranma placed his hand over his heart, began convulsing, and whimpering, "Oh, the pain. The Pain! I was destroyed by my own daughter!" Kasumi was stifling a giggle, but couldn't hold it in when Ranma fell backwards out of his chair playing dead.

The little play didn't faze Mr. Panda a bit; he used this opportunity to steal food from **everyone's **plate. That was until Soun noticed, "Saotome! You are stealing my food! Training Ranma, hey!" The panda grinned; then, the panda ran outside at the onset of the demon head attack, "Why do you take the food from your old friend's mouth?!!?"

By the time Nodoka arrived, the morning's activities were finished. She found Skuld sitting in Ranma's lap, and Ranko snuggled up to him. She did not notice the occasional glance of disgust that Ranma would give Ranko, or the daggers that Akane was staring through him. Everything seemed normal to her, so she just said, "Are we ready?"

Ranma was the first to respond, "Oh yeah, we are more ready than you can ever imagine!" He thought, "I'm more **annoyed **than you can believe right now." No matter how much he knew that Nabiki was faking the Ranko thing, it still unnerved him. It was just wrong. It felt like a mirror was coming on to him; "Aaargh," he mentally added.

On the way to the funeral, Ranma kept a close eye on Skuld. That girl has a great acting ability, but then he realized that in a way it wasn't acting. "Man, the last few days have been so messed up; I could cry with you, Skuld," Ranma thought solemnly. Then, he picked up Skuld to carry her the rest of the way to the funeral, and he did so almost reflexively. 

Nabiki was perceptive as ever, even if she was playing along as any number of Ranma's numerous fiancées. She, as Ranko, moved to the other side of Ranma to reassure the small girl, "It'll be ok, Skuld. I promise, we'll stick together." In a reply of sorts, Skuld nodded between whimpers.

This all felt incredibly strange to the goddess. She knew that her mother didn't just die, but she did just die. She was a goddess, but she was also had an earthly mother. She felt the loss, but knows that this was all a reality adjustment by Yggdrasil. It felt confusing, while she knew all the particularities of the process.

The funeral itself wasn't very eventful; though, it was a very sobering affair. Even at a stranger's funeral, one can't help but to realize the frailty of life. Individuals hardened to the lessons of life, those hardened by a life on the road, and even those hardened by years of being alone are all affected by such activities. 

At the end of the saddening affair, the small group was approached by a white-haired woman in her mid-twenties. Introducing herself as Yumi, a representative of the state; then, she indicated that it was her responsibility to ensure that Mr. Saotome Ranma would provide a good home for Skuld. 

Pulling Ranma and Skuld to the side, Yumi told Ranma that Skuld should continue to attend the same school that she had previously. Further, she offered to take Skuld to school for Ranma. Ranma was apprehensive at first, until Skuld reassured Ranma that Yumi was a friend. Then, Skuld added that she would explain more about Yumi later. At which, Ranma was satisfied to allow her to go with the apparent case worker.

On the way home, Nabiki was lividly explaining to Ranma that good parents don't let their children go off with anyone that doesn't have proof of who they are. She couldn't believe that Ranma was so trusting over this. She just let Ranma have it, "My god, what were you thinking? What if that woman was some sort of murderer? Listen to me, Ranma."

---

"Skuld says that she knows Yumi, and I'm satisfied with that."

"Son, you could have just said that. There is no reason to get your iinzuke worked up, now is there?"

"No use in crying over spilled milk, now is there Mr. Fiancée?"

---

They parted company as they walked past the Tendo home. Ranma and Ranko continued to school, and Nodoka went to see if her husband had shown back up yet. Once out of earshot, Nabiki said, "Let's head to the Doc's place first. I don't think you want me going to school like this."

Ranma muttered his agreement, and walked with her to get hot water. He absently speculated about the length of time he could go without getting wet at school. 

**Lunch, Windy Forest High School***  
=====================================================================  
*Fuurinkan Koukou literately means, "Windy Forest Hall High," now how about that!  
=====================================================================

There were few things that Ranma was genuinely happy over at any given time. Today, sitting **behind **Akane was one of them. He really didn't feel like being glared at for having the luck to miss the first two hours of school. He was always amazed at how she could get angry over such little things.

Lunch time found an adventuresome new way to be annoying, at least to Ranma. He was splashed again, this time due to a broken water faucet. Ranma cursed his luck. Within seconds of being splashed, he heard an amazingly familiar declaration of love.

"Pig Tailed Goddess, Oh how I've waited for thee," Kuno's speech began in the courtyard of Furinkan. The ear-grating speech continued, as Kuno began to fondle Ranko's breasts. Kuno was in heaven, "To at last be free of that foul sorcerer's treachery! Our love might thusly be fulfilled!"

For all of her effort, Nabiki could not break free of the mad kendoist's grasp. Her anger would have soon turned to despair, if not for Ranma finding hot water somewhere. The next thing Nabiki heard was, "My sweet Lord above! Why hast thou forsaken thee?!!? Mine hands hath touched that vile harlot Tendo Nabiki! Purification must be performed upon these hands that have been so violated as to have... Urk."

Looking down, Nabiki noticed that there was a foot where Kuno had bent down to declare his disgust at touching her. The foot, she noted, was connected to Ranma's leg. She knew that she was visibly shaken, but thanked Ranma anyway. 

"You don't look so good, Nabiki," Ranma commented. The answer to his comment was, "Well, of course not. I've been honked, and then told it was disgusting. Why in the world, would I consider anything wrong?" 

Ranma was surprised; Nabiki usually only gets this abrasive when she's really ill. He decided to calm her down, "Kuno is a freak, and has no idea about what is quality goods." Waving his hands in the air for drama's sake, Ranma walked back to enjoy his lunch. His retreat left Nabiki to conduct the rest of her lunch-time business.

Akane overheard the conversation, and, frankly, she didn't know what upset her the most. Was it Kuno fondling her sister, or Kuno berating Nabiki afterwards? Could it have been the fact that Ranma complemented Nabiki. Akane decided that whichever one annoyed her the most, she was going back to the classroom.

Somewhere Else  
=============

"Skuld! I'm so happy to see you! Keichii, Skuld is here for a little wile," Belldandy greeted her little sister.

"Hiya, Bell," stated Skuld with a bit of enthusiasm. Then, "Wow, I'm glad you set it up for me to come here for school. Hehe, I'd be bored silly in a mortal school."

After a quick poof-ing noise, Yumi transformed into Urd, and said, "I couldn't very well leave you out in the cold, now could I?"

"Well, I suppose not. Hey, I need some advice..."

After School  
========== 

Ducking under a boken, Ranma tossed Nabiki to Akane. "Get her outta' here," Ranma demanded, while jumping over the kendoist swing. 

Nabiki was pissed that she got tossed around like a sack of potatoes. Further, she was not terribly pleased about the things that Kuno was screaming while he fought with her supposed fiancée.

During a flip over Kuno's head, Ranma heard Kuno blurt out, "How dare you defend that sorceress harlot who's captured my fair Pigtailed Girl!" That was about the last thing Ranma heard from Kuno, as Ranma nailed him with a standing kick after he landed.

By the time they reached the house, Ranma was wet, Akane was mad, and Nabiki was a redhead again. 

---

"P-chan! Thank god! I was so worried about you," Akane exclaimed excitedly, as she swept her pet pig up into her arms. Cuddling him close, she took him to the kitchen for an after-school snack. She began to rattle off her problems to the pet, "That Jerk ditched me again, P-chan."

"Bwee," the pig stated with a serious look on its face.

"I'm sorry P-chan, but That's not all..."

---

"Saotome, I am not going to be able to conduct my business like this every day. You and I are going to have to come up with something to keep Kuno off my back. Unless, you want to play hero several times a day. I've tried different ways to get him to realize that it's a curse, but it keeps going right over his fool head. I've lost count of how many times you've tried to beat it into him, so what are we going to do," lectured Nabiki.

Ranma looked at her dumbly, "Uhm. I don't think he can get it?" Before Ranma could add to the conversation more than that, they heard a knock at Nabiki's door.

Opening the door, Nabiki found a very serious Skuld, "Nabiki, I think we need to talk. Oh, hey Daddy! Wait, you don't have to leave. I may need your help; it's about the Yumi, the caseworker."

---

Looking about frantically, a little pig has found itself lost again. Ryoga screams, "Where am I, NOW!!????!!!!???!!??!??" Although, a passerby would see a little bandanna wearing pig striking a pose screaming, "Bweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

  
-- NOTES ----------

My apologies for the long delay. I decided to pop-out another episode of "Rearrange" before beginning on chapter 3 of "Divine." Lets just say it was harder to go back and forth between the two than I thought. With that said, I've gotten five more chapters planned for divine. It may vary, but I'll try to keep the notes up to date as I go along.

After an extensive review by one of my pre-readers, I learned of some glaring mistakes from the first version of this chapter. I'm surprised that I haven't been victimized by the OOC hordes! Anyway, the OOC'ness has been reduced back within operational limits with this revision. Gomen.

--- NEXT TIME ---

P-chan has had enough! He finds his way back to the Tendo Dojo intent on having it out with Ranma, and finds a terrible mess. Kuno thinks that Ranma and Nabiki are magically competing to control his pig tailed girl? Shampoo is involved; Ukyou is back from business. Be here next time for, "**Undercurrents**."

Loved it? Hated it? E-mail me, targhan_aga@yahoo.com

--- Standard Notes ---

1. This fanfiction will have Skuld appearing to be at a younger age, to facilitate this story Why? Two reasons, the first is obvious from this, the first installment. Second, because she can. Oh yeah, Skuld is not dating Ranma in this little work, or anyone else for that matter.

2. The author has shamelessly shoved a spoon into the Ranma 1/2 timeline; then, he stirred it up! Other notes of issue: Ranma's mother does not know about the curse yet, and she only gets to meet Ranko and her panda when she visits.

**Clarification**: Ranma thought a smart remark about a wish. Yggdrasil calculated the time required to fix all of Ranma's problems. Skuld is going to be around for a while to fix the problems. She's been designated as Ranma's adopted daughter to allow her the time necessary. (Remember, it took several episodes for the audience to learn that Belle messed with a few things to stay with Keichii)

----------------------------  
Fin.


	4. Part IV. Undercurrents

**A Divine Daughter**  
**Part IV. Undercurrents**

By: Targhan  
targhan_aga@yahoo.com

www.geocities.com/targhan_aga  
==================================================================

www.beeftrapeze.com/challenge/

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used. 

===============

The story thus far in a nutshell:

During a day in which Ranma was actually left alone for a bit, the Goddess Relief Office sends Skuld down to grant Ranma a wish. Upon learning of this, Ranma explains that he isn't too terribly fond of wishes, and tries to refuse. Naturally, this didn't fly, as the story may have very well ended right there. No, Skuld insisted, and Ranma thought of a very silly wish: Divine intervention in everything until it's all fixed. Oops.

Things are supposed to get better with a little divine intervention, but they just didn't quite go as planned. When Skuld is assigned to be Ranma's daughter, everything goes to hell. A house full of the Tendo girls and some overeager fathers add to a dysfunctionality of the best of plans. Akane blew up over nothing, and Nodoka engages Ranma to himself! During an actual attempt by Skuld, the assigned goddess, to correct a problem in Ranma's life, she transfers the Jusenkyo curse to Nabiki.

Then things get interesting, as the next few days wear on. Skuld recounts the actual wish process, the memory changes, and the timeline shifts. Ranma is further tormented by Nabiki who plays the role of Ranko to the hilt in front of his mother, and Akane shoves the marriage pledge to Nabiki out of spite. As Ranko, Nabiki attends a funeral with the Saotomes, and meet Skuld's caseworker, Yumi. Complicating matters further, Yumi isn't a case worker; Yumi is a form taken by Urd to help maintain contact with Skuld during her stay with Ranma. What could possibly happen next?

==================================================================

Part One: In a Pig's Eye!

The park in Nerima was finding itself the center of another martial artists' brawl once again. Swinging low to avoid a counter-strike, Ranma planted three punches in Ryoga's midsection. Noting that the bandanna clad boy had turned away from his attack, Ranma vaulted into an aerial somersault in an attempt to catch Ryoga off guard. Neither of the combatants had dipped into their reserve of special moves, so the park was spared the more destructive aspects of the fight. 

In a way, Skuld observed, these fights were almost like the ocean. They would roll and swirl, like currents in the water. Skuld normally appreciated the artistic movements of Ranma's fights, but this time it was different. She was annoyed, very annoyed. This guy came out of nowhere screaming things at Ranma that he had no business knowing. Further, they were on their way back from her special "school" when that guy attacked.

Backing away from the fight before her, she tried to put things together. Ranma's attacker wore a bandanna, he had black hair, and was calling Ranma "Fem-Boy." If she remembered her notes correctly, this was Ryoga. "Oh yeah," she thought, "he is supposed to have unnaturally bad timing." As frustrated as she was, she never noticed the oncoming danger. Kodachi.

Appearing from seemingly nowhere, Kodachi, in her leotard, gracefully leaped to where Skuld was. Quickly she snapped her ribbon tightly around Skuld, and hoarsely laughed, "Oh-hohohohohohoho, what have we here? My, it's Ranma's little darling! Let mother-OH-Ho-Ha-Ha-HA-Kodachi take you for a home cooked meal, while Ranma-darling plays with that ruffian!"

Before Skuld could manage a full "Eep," a giant spatula slashed through the ribbons. Ukyou's eyes glistened, as she spoke, "Get away from her, you whacko hussy! If my Ranchan's daughter is going to be eating something--it'll be *MY* okonomiyaki!"

"Degenerate servant girl," Kodachi began, "how dare you compare your street vending to my culinary art!"

As she saw the two female combatants facing each other above her, Skuld was getting a sinking feeling. In protest, she finally tried to speak her mind, "Excuse me, but I would like to go home now."

The goddess-child's voice was not heard, due to the arrival of yet another fiancé! "What you two do with Skuld-chan? She try Shampoo too-too delicious noodles," the amazon stated happily, as she bounced off Kodachi's head.

By this time, Skuld had one thing on her mind, escape. These nut-cases were definitely out to crack each other's skulls, and Skuld wanted no part of it. Nearly every fiancé was accounted for, so she started to sneak off...

---

"C'mon Akane, hurry up you're walking too slow," Nabiki requested of Akane.

Akane replied, "I'm coming. I'm coming. Why do I have to be your personal body guard for anyway?"

"Really," Nabiki rolled her eyes, "it's not obvious? Ranma isn't here to do it."

"Well, he should be. After all, he's **your** fiancé, in **both** forms," Akane spoke with a venomous drawl.

"Dear little sister, if you want him back--all you have to do is say it," Nabiki said grinning evilly.

Akane had about enough of this conversation, "Look you, I will not be subjugated to that curse just to satisfy your twisted.... Hey! What's going on over there?"

"I do believe that's a fight," Nabiki answered while holder her index finger in the air. Then, Nabiki's face grew more serious. "My god, they're fighting over.. Damn it, Akane. Wait for me," she said excitedly.

---

Out of breath, Nabiki showed up just in time to witness Akane entering the fray. Noting that Akane, just like the others, never stopped to get Skuld out of the way. Feeling like there was a three alarm fire in her chest, Nabiki began to run towards the battle in front of her.

Skuld could hear her father's battle in the distance, and she guessed that Ranma had been leading his fight with Ryoga away from her. Unfortunately, his strategy had the flaw that he was out of eye-shot of her current predicament. She had all but decided to pull upon her abilities to get out of the way of the fight, when she felt a hand grab her arm.

"C'mon, lets. Get. Home," came the voice of Nabiki who was obviously out of breath. Skuld was quickly pulled from the cat fight, and was being led away from the park. 

Skuld was glad to be away from the mess, but wondered what would happen when Ranma didn't find her where she was left. However, her worry was unfounded, as Nabiki found a park bench near the exit of the park. Skuld looked up at Nabiki, and she smiled in relief.

Nabiki's sidelong smile cracked as she spoke, "I guess someone is going to have to teach you how to disappear from these fights, huh?"

"Actually, auntie Nabiki--I have something more important to talk about," replied Skuld. Noting the smile fade a bit from Nabiki's face; she continued, "I don't know what business deal you had to take care of last week, but I need to talk to you about my case worker. I also need to talk to you about Daddy.."

"Nope. Sorry. I can't talk about that," Nabiki replied with a tone so cold that Jack Frost would be jealous.

"Why not," Skuld began, obviously irritated. Then, when she saw no answer forthcoming, she pushed the advantage, "You're scared!"

If Nabiki's face could have grown a more neutral expression, it would have. Unfortunately, it was already in a stone-cold featureless expression that provided no clue to what she was actually thinking. Then, she answered, "I simply have no idea what you are talking about, Skuld. What **is **there to be scared of?"

Imitating Nabiki's expression, Skuld replied, "You are afraid that I may tell you something that you don't want to know!" She was satisfied with her response; auntie Nabiki would just have to face Skuld's challenge!

Instead of providing the response that she knew she was goaded Nabiki into, Nabiki just pointed out the obvious, "Ranma is done with his fight; let's go meet him." 

Skuld jumped up with Nabiki, and the two of them walked around the current all girl melee. While doing so, Skuld asked, "How do you know that the fight is over?"

As they walked in the direction that Ranma's fight had taken them, Nabiki answered, "Simple, I'm a redhead now."

Skuld was about to ask why, but it dawned on her rather quickly. Ranma's fight landed them in water, so this Ryoga would be a piglet about now. Instead of asking her original question, she pointed at the newer more difficult question, "How long have you known about Ryoga's curse, and why haven't you said anything about it?" Laced with honey, Skuld's question was followed by her best set of puppy-eyes.

Nabiki sighed, rolled her eyes, and answered, "Ranma drops enough hints about it, so I've know for a while. I'd like to just throw that bit of information out on the table, but the collateral damage would be incredible. They both would blame Ranma, and we wouldn't have a roof to sleep under anymore. I'm afraid that everyone will just have to figure that one out on their own."

Satisfied with the answer, Skuld walked with Nabiki to find a rather worse for the wear Ranma on his way back. Skuld was also the first to react, "Daddy!"

With a slight grin, Nabiki watched in amusement, as Ranma stumbled quicker towards them. She noticed the distracted look in Ranma's eyes when he picked his daughter up. "Hey Ranma," she stated, "What ***are*** you looking at?"

Ranma looked towards the ongoing war then back at Nabiki. Finally, he asked, "What are they doing over there?" His question was punctuated by pointing in the direction of the fight with his thumb.

"Ranma. Ranma. You know as well as I do, that sooner or later they would have an Anything Goes Martial Arts Mother Competition," Nabiki stated with a monotone voice.

"A what?!!?" Ranma asked in an utterly confused voice.

Skuld tried to spell it out for her father, "They are fighting over who is the best mommy! I think it's **so **cool that they all like me so much!" Mentally she added, "Except that they are all nuts."

Nabiki wasn't about to let that fly, "Cool, huh? I think that they were putting you in danger, young lady."

"Danger?" Ranma asked with his smile dropping. Ranma didn't like the idea of Skuld being in danger; although, he knew that if worse came to worse she could probably take care of herself. Well, he knew that his daughter was a goddess after all.

Skuld threw in her two-cents before Nabiki could come up with a less direct way to say the same thing, "Yeah, they started fighting right over me. I was getting worried, until auntie Nabiki pulled me out of it."

Nabiki's tone wasn't as emotionless as normal, "It was nothing. I did what was necessary, Saotome. We need to get home."

For her part, Skuld was finally enjoying something here beyond spending time with her new mortal Daddy. Watching Nabiki fidget was neat. She mentally hummed, as she stated, "She took a chance of getting hit herself, Daddy."

Ranma put his hand on Nabiki's shoulder and smiled. He followed that by saying, "Hey, thanks Nabiki. I guess, you won the competition."

Nabiki felt something stir from the bottom of her gut, and she didn't like it. Determining that it must be time to eat, she bellowed, "Akane! Let's go home, you can play later!"

Unseen by anyone, the Skuld's angel (Noble Scarlet) frowned at this. She was going to have to get more serious; only, she would have to be careful not to get caught by Skuld!

---

Ukyou felt bad for her part in the day's foray into mindless combat. Within two days of returning from her trip to Kyoto, she had been involved in a melee that should not have happened in such proximity to a noncombatant, and the guilt weighed upon her shoulders. Skuld seemed like such a nice little girl, but to put her in that kind of danger was wrong--even if the Chinese hussy started it.

Flipping an okonomiyaki, she made a determination, "I will make it up to Skuld! I'm going to bring her the best okonomiyaki ever made, and I'll teach her how to cook it too!"

From across the room, Konatsu stared at her in wonderment. He simply thought, "Ukyou-sama has finally lost all of her marbles."

---

Back at the Tendo dojo, Nabiki was feeling ill. In fact, she was down right annoyed. Nodoka appeared with baggage, which meant only one thing--further expenses. Never mind the fact that Mr. Panda was going to have to explain the curses soon, there was another mouth to feed at the dojo. Even though Skuld came with a slight inheritance, another potential destructive occupant may drain too much even with the extra capital. She was on the verge of a breakdown; this mess had gone on far too long! Excusing herself, she proceeded to leave the house for a while.

In the kitchen, a whole other matter was currently under discussion. Ranma managed to corner Akane, "What is wrong with you?"

Akane replied, "There's nothing wrong with me; what's wrong with you?"

Ranma was visibly frustrated, "I didn't ask for any of this, ya' know. How was I supposed to know that a rodent broke the thermal-transucer-thingy-whatever would leave Nabiki stuck with my curse? I don't see why you can't just take the results of my curse if you want to be my fiancé, Akane."

Akane's face began to feel hot, as she replied, "Why not? Because, I don't want to be a pervert like you--that's why not!" Then, she stormed off. Akane regretted her words almost immediately, but she wasn't going to become a freak. She may have made up with Skuld during the past week, but making up with Ranma was going to be difficult. 

Ranma sighed as he watched the retreating back of his former fiancé. He still cared for her, even if he couldn't admit it to himself. Lowering his head, he thought about it, "Akane seems like she could be a good mom, but she keeps losing her head whenever the other girls show up. Skuld and the tomboy are getting along better now, but why can't she take the curse? I mean it won't be like she'll turn into a guy."

Ranma didn't know whom to be frustrated at. Nabiki was the one who insisted that if Akane wanted him back that she would have to take the curse too. Then again, his mom wanted him engaged to Ranko, so it would be easier that way. Yet, Akane didn't want to take the curse for any reason whatsoever. Finally, Skuld didn't seem like she could find that whatever crystal it was she needed to cure the curse all the way. The curse was stupid; it was attached to a person, so it could only be transmitted to another person. Ranma felt a migraine coming on; he hadn't been this aggravated since before Skuld arrived.

Ranma's various considerations were abruptly halted by the sound of a scream. Taking note that it wasn't Skuld, who was currently up to something with Nodoka, or Akane, he looked about to see just what was amiss. The scream wasn't directly in the yard, but a few meters away. It didn't take too long to figure out that it was headed towards the dojo, and it was Nabiki. Ranma bounded past the shogi-fest in the living room, as he made his way to intercept whatever (or whoever) was after Nabiki.

---

Breathing heavily, Nabiki ran for all that she was worth. Kuno, her former source of income, was now chasing her. She screamed desperately to get him to stop, "Damn it, Kuno I am **not **a sorceress!" 

"Trick me not, oh wicked woman!" Kuno exclaimed, as he was finally gaining ground on Nabiki. He assumed that there was a reason she was able to sell him photos, and he finally knew. Thus, he pushed the point home, as he was about to make a strike, "You could sell pictures of the Pigtailed Goddess, because you work for Saotome!" 

Running and breathing was all that Nabiki was capable of, while she passed buildings, houses, and streets. Her breathing had become incredibly ragged, and her head felt light. Nabiki was at the end of her ropes, but her mind couldn't register the fact--it was busy trying to move her feet. Finally, much like in a horror movie, she lost her footing, and fell unceremoniously to the ground. While she was only a couple of meters from the house, she might as well have been in a lonely cabin. Expecting to be beaten within an inch of her life, she closed her eyes; tears found their way to a seldom used corner, the corner of Nabiki's eyes.

The beating never rained down, though. Instead, she felt hands and a sudden jerk into the air. This was about all that Nabiki could take; she lost her cookies, "Urk."

"Nabiki!" Ranma exclaimed as he landed in the Tendo's yard, after using Kuno's head for a launching pad. Then, Ranma added, "That's gross!" Ranma mentally added, "You need conditioning bad, really bad. No fiancé of mine will be outrun by Kuno." Then, he looked at his clothes, "Aww, man."

Watching the commotion from afar, Mr. Panda and Mr. Tendo were slightly worried about Nabiki. They both knew that Akane was in far better shape for this sort of thing. Catching a glimpse of Ranma bounding over the wall, Genma stated, "Growwf. Grawwf Gruff."

Mr. Tendo replied, "tis a duty to protect one's fiance."

Without warning the conversation was interrupted, "What do you mean fiancé?" The source of the voice was none other than Nodoka, who was standing with her hands on her hips expecting an explanation. 

When no one immediately answered, she questioned further, "I said, what do you mean fiancé. That was clearly Nabiki, and it was not Ranko. Tell me what is going on now, and where is Ranko?"

All present in one single motion turned to look at Mr. Panda, who's sign read, "What did I do? I'm just an innocent Panda!"

---  
Nekohaten  
---

"But, Shampoo no want to kill Ranma's daughter," Shampoo pleaded with her great-grandmother.

"I'm sorry child, but she is as great of an obstacle as another wife," Cologne explained, hoping to get her point across. "Then there only remains one choice," Cologne continued, "we must take her to China, and make her of our tribe."

"Shampoo no think this going to make husband happy," Shampoo silently objected, earning herself a bop on the head from a cane.

"Hush, child," Cologne chided, as she began to formulate a plan...

---

Urd, wearing her hair in a bun and a too short white lab-coat, clears her throat at Keichii. "Listen up Keichii, I'm only going to explain this once," she began, while still wearing her Yumi disguise. Noting that Keichii was rolling his eyes at her, she threw a high velocity chalkboard eraser in his direction. Then she continued, "Now that I have your attention, I am going to explain why Ranma doesn't just get his curse back."

Appearing from nowhere, she used a pointing stick to point at a diagram on a chalkboard, which also just appeared. Then she proceeded, "Now, Skuld's contraption requires a specific gem-transducer to act as a vessel for Ranma's curse. When the connection was severed by the bug and Nabiki stepped into the appropriate spot, the curse didn't just transfer to her. No, the transducing-crystal imploded. This particular gem is a difficult to find item, and it may be a year before another one is found."

"I said pay attention!" Urd screamed directly into Keichii's ear, when he started to doze. Then, Urd adjusted her coat to allow a bit more cleavage to show, as she decided to keep Keichii on his toes. Finally, she continued, "In theory, Nabiki could have a reception seat built in the place of the Crystal's location. Doing this would allow for the curse to go back to Ranma; however, it would be dangerous to both of them. While they both asked Skuld about this, Nabiki decided to at least wait until she sees Nodoka's reaction to Genma's curse. That, Keichii, sums it up in a nutshell."

In a flash of light, the chalkboard and its accessories disappeared into a small puff of white smoke. Then, Urd slowly used her arms to let her hair down. When her long white hair draped over her dark shoulders, the lab-coat was replaced with a pair of jeans and a pink blouse. Then she looked back at Keichii, and she said, "Ja Ne!"

==================================================================

Next time: What happens when Nodoka discovers the curses? What are the Amazons planning? Does the world need a Goddess who practices The Art?!!? All this and more, "When Yumi makes a house call!"

Notes: Unlike the other angels in OH! My Goddess, Noble Scarlet was realized before Skuld was really old enough to handle her. Thus, Noble Scarlet is certainly capable of trying to tinker a little bit on her own.

==================================================================

Pre-Readers:  
Aleh  
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Targhan  
Email: targhan_aga@yahoo.com   
Homepage: www.geocities.com/targhan_aga  
Ranma1/2-SM Crossover Generator: www.beeftrapeze.com/challenge 

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	5. House Calls

**A Divine Daughter**  
**Part V: House Calls**  
**Or, "When Yumi Makes a House Call"**

By: Targhan  
targhan_aga@yahoo.com

www.geocities.com/targhan_aga

==================================================================

www.beeftrapeze.com/challenge/

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used. "Ranma 1/2" is distributed in the U.S. by Viz, and "Oh My Goddess" manga is distributed by Dark Horse Comics.

===============================  
Several weeks after the funeral...  
===============================

"Well?" Asked Belldandy, staring through Skuld towards Noble Scarlet. With her arms folded and her face adorned with a scowl, Belldandy's displeasure was more than obvious. 

Since the amusement of watching Belldandy scold Noble Scarlet was quick to wear off; Urd quickly disappeared for a refreshingly cold malt-barly-pop.

Skuld knew better than to interrupt Bell, even though her big sister was getting on to her angel. Skuld could literately feel the defiance that Noble Scarlet was exuding. This was definitely not what she wanted from her "school" day.

Finally, Belldandy turned her attention away from Noble Scarlet, and back towards her little sister. "This isn't getting me anywhere," she began exasperated, "Skuld, could you tell me about the last few weeks," after her question, Belldandy let out an extended sigh, and she slumped down next to the knee-high table.

Skuld was nervous and upset; but most of all, she was angry. Everything she had done seemed to backfire grandly. It wasn't always Noble Scarlet, it wasn't always a bug, but it was always something. Balling her fist up; she finally replied, "I don't know oneechan. I've been trying, but everything just blows up in my face. Ranma has a pure soul, but, at times, I could swear that there must be a demon after him." By the time she finished her statement, she was nearly crimson with anger.

Belldandy put on a small smile, and began to reassure her little sister, "OK, slow down a little bit. The Ultimate Force is in action on our side, so everything will work out. Now why don't you start..."

Urd floated into the room, and graciously interrupted the pep-talk, "I have a suspicion that might explain some of the craziness in your project, Skuld."

"Urd" began Skuld in an elevated tone, "Bell was talking." Skuld idly wondered why Urd had to be so presumptuous.

The eldest of the three Norns continued without paying any attention, "There is a possibility that Ranma's father could have inadvertently made a pact with a demon to make Ranma the most powerful martial artist ever." Urd mentally added that there could be more than one force at work in the kid's life.

"Oh my!" Exclaimed Belldandy, as she moved her fingers to her lips. She immediately realized that it was more than just possible; it was probable. If that was the case, Skuld was going to need their help. Belldandy decided at this point to learn as much as possible, "Skuld, tell us about the last few weeks. Maybe, we can see a pattern that would indicate interference."

"OK," came the reply, as Skuld began to retell the events of the last few weeks. "It all began a few weeks ago, when that kendoist, Kuno, had attacked Auntie-Nabiki," began Skuld. Silently wondering how her Daddy, Ranma, uncannily knew about various dangers, she continued, "Daddy ran out explosively to save her before any of us knew what was going on. Then, I guess she wasn't as physically fit as some of the other people there, and she threw up all over Daddy!" Clearing her throat, Skuld followed up, '"The ***real*** trouble began when Nodoka-san overheard Tendo-san say something about it being a martial artist's duty so protect his betrothed."

"Grammy immediately gave Tendo-san an angry look, and Grampa-Baka, erm Grampa-Panda, started holding up his silly signs," continued Skuld after taking a breath. Those signs tickled Skuld to no end, but it was still a mystery to her how he pulled those signs from nowhere. Happy thoughts aside, she continued, "Mr. Tendo looked as white as a sheet; I mean he had no color--it all drained through his shoes into the ground, or something."

She thought back to the action at the Tendo yard, when Soun was belch out some silly lie to Nodoka. Then, she tried to determine the best way to express how Auntie-Nabiki cut him off. Skuld stated, "Nabiki bellowed something about the curse being the reason she turns into Ranko, and that there never was a Ranko to Grammy, when Grampa Tendo was trying to mislead her about what he had just said."

With annoyance written all across her face, Skuld continued to retell her story, "Needless to say, Grammy-Nodoka was a little shocked, and probably would have believed a fabrication more than the truth. Everyone seemed to start yelling at each other, but my attention was drawn away by Noble Scarlet."

"What did she do," asked Urd curiously. Urd hadn't seen such a mess in ages, and she was tickled that Father had allowed her and Belldandy to help Skuld on this assignment. "Hmm," she thought, "we sort of have permission."

Skuld continued, "I'm getting to it. Noble Scarlet was just acting weird..."

Interjecting, Belldandy commented, "I see that there is a big mess, but why is it that Urd informed me to admonish Noble Scarlet? Urd said that she was interfering, but, exactly what, she refused to say."

---

"Well, that's easy," echoed Urd, "precious little Nobel Scarlet wasn't by Skuld's side, but doing something with Nabiki. To top it off, she, somehow, found a way to do so without Skuld's knowledge." 

Skuld, for her part, rocked back and forth on her folded legs, as she tried to clarify. She spoke slowly, as her mind raced back to cover the events of the past few weeks.

## FlashBack ##

I felt my eyes open up wide at the shock of what I saw; I mean I really couldn't believe it! I thought that according to my research, Nabiki and Ranma were acting a little nicer to each other than they should have, but I never, ever, expected to see Noble Scarlet egging them on! I think daddy needed his nerves calmed, because Grammy finally put all the pieces together, but Noble Scarlet went a little too far. 

There are some things that should happen on their own, right? So, I went over there to break up Nobel Scarlet's little nudging. That's when Nabiki-san jumped back staring at her hand like it had been bitten by a snake. Then, she ran off screaming about changing clothes. 

## End Flashback ##

After listening to Skuld's recounting of the events of the day, Bell was beginning to wonder if Skuld just needed some remedial training with her angel. "Well, I don't see anything that resembles any demonic influence in that," commented Belldandy.

Urd looked over, and replied, "Well, I didn't mean every incident, but there are some things that just don't add up without some influence. Like, the Neko-ken training just doesn't make any sense."

Skuld began to appear irritated at the interruption, but she waited for them to finish before going back to her story.

Belldandy face turned to something a bit more somber, as she said, "Maybe it wasn't his father. What about their old Master?"

"That man is definitely suspect," Urd added. Then, she motioned for Skuld to continue her story. Then, as Skuld began to speak, Urd made a mental note that this Happosai could be more than just suspect...

"Where was I? Oh yeah, I sat with Ranma, while he watched his mother chase Genma around flailing with the sheathed katana. He was snickering about it, so I asked him to explain..."  
  
### 

"Mom don't have no business swinging that thing, she could hurt herself," Ranma stated with an amused tone. Ranma had suspected for a while that his mother wasn't a great kendo master, but her actions in the back yard proved it.

Nodoka was too upset to be concerned, but Ranma's worry about the seppuku contract waned with his mother's reactions. Ranma realized that she wouldn't make them go through something so hideous, when she was clearly upset because she simply missed them. 

She waited over ten years to see her husband and child, only to find out that she could have seen them much sooner if not for the fear over a seppuku contract. That fact just stuck in her craw. [a.n.: If asked, Nodoka would say, "I don't know what a "craw" is, but whatever it is--this situation sure sticks in it!"]

With all of the excitement going on, Skuld excused herself to go check on Nabiki. Something just didn't sit right, as Noble Scarlet seemingly decided to exercise her own will into the current situation.

Skuld traversed the stairs making her way to Nabiki's room to find that the middle Tendo sister stepping into her room. Before she could get to the room, a small thud echoed from her very destination. Catching her attention, she moved more quickly to investigate the noise from the end of the hall. Stepping into Nabiki's room, she noticed that Noble Scarlet was gliding away from the small desk and that Nabiki moved past her to pick up a few photographs. 

The question of what Noble Scarlet had or had not done slipped to the wayside, when Skuld noticed Nabiki's paperwork out in the open. There were bank books, ledgers, scratch paper, a calculator, and even an abacus muddled about the desk. In fact, the layout wasn't too different from that of an accountant. If anything, the whole array of objects screamed "tedious" and "boring."

At this point, Nabiki noticed the curious look in Skuld's eyes, and told her a few of the intricacies of running the Tendo dojo and household. While Skuld's research revealed that Nabiki kept the household afloat financially, Skuld could read one emotion glaring from the girl. Tired. While Nabiki normally prided herself on the cool demeanor which was unreadable, she couldn't hide her emotions from a Norn, a goddess with empathy and that could read auras. It was obvious that the middle Tendo sister was tired of the betting pools, the fiascoes, the schemes, and all of the dirty pool that she had to play just to keep the bills met. While it was true that she enjoyed those things, there is a difference in doing something for fun on occasion and doing it to survive.

As the girl responsible for the household's financial burden finished up, Skuld interjected, "Wouldn't it be easier just to have Tendo-san or Saotome-san take students? Isn't that what a dojo is for?"

Skuld listened as she noticed Nabiki cock her head to one side, "Now, why didn't I think of that?" Pausing for effect, Nabiki put her index finger in the air, as if coming upon a grand solution. Then, she continued, "It's simple, those two are the laziest people I've ever seen. Kami knows that I've tried many times. I could sooner get cheese out of a moon crater than to get work out of my or Ranma's father."

Before leaving the room, Skuld noticed that Noble Scarlet was a bit edgy. Somehow, Noble Scarlet felt the need to inform Nabiki that maybe Skuld's father could do the job. Although Skuld found it a bit odd, it did make sense. Thus, she decided to leave Nabiki with a few words of wisdom, "Why not hint that opening the dojo to students would be good training for Daddy? Besides, if you tell my dad about the situation and that you need help, I know he will do everything he can. My Daddy has the biggest heart in the whole world, and would do anything to help."

###

Skuld finally appeared a bit more cheerful to her sisters, as she continued to describe the situation, "You should have seen her face. She looked at me as if I told her the world was flat. Then, her face twisted into a mask of confusion. I guess she didn't know how to deal with it, so she just clammed up. That's when I left the room," Skuld paused for a breath; then she sipped her tea.

Belldandy looked at her sister with concern, as she began, "Well, there is nothing demonic about that. Unless, we count a goddess who can't keep tabs on her troublemaking angel as a demonic force." She giggled at her little joke, but soon realized that no one else thought it was funny. She then added, "You shouldn't just give up, if you like Nabiki and think she would be the right one--keep trying. She may just be confused about her own feelings."

  
Raising an eyebrow, Skuld took a deep breath, and replied, "Hey! Daddy can make his on decisions about that! It wouldn't be fair to him for me to try to force his choice one way or the other." 

Then, Urd interjected as she stifled a giggle at her youngest sister's defensiveness, "What else happened during the last few weeks, that some well placed Goddess-Potions wouldn't cure?"

Relieved with the reprieve, Skuld answered quickly, "Various rivals came by several times trying to take his head off, but that is normal..."

"Wait! Stop! Right there!" Urd commanded, "Don't you see? It is ***NOT*** normal at all! I think something must have affected those people to make them want to come looking for blood."

Rolling her eyes slightly, Skuld replied, "But, they all **seem **to have good reasons. They either want to be with a girl who is engaged to Ranma, or they have befallen some misfortune due to Daddy's training."

Belldandy shook her head at this, and said, "No, that doesn't sound right. They may come looking for trouble once, but I really think that maybe there is some outside influence. What else has been happening?"

"Hmm," Skuld began with her index finger planted squarely on her chin. She shifted around a little before continuing, "Nodoka-san was concerned about Nabiki, but Nabiki began to act nicer to him in front of her. I think Grammy-Nodoka is sated for a while, but sooner or later she'll find out. Akane has made several outbursts at Nabiki, but so far Daddy was able to intervene."

Belldandy looked at her younger sister, and questioned, "I see. I wonder if Akane was somehow affected by whatever affected the others?"

Skuld was about to respond, but Noble Scarlet began nodding furiously at the statement. 

Urd picked this time to interject, "OK, we get the picture. Now, what other events could have led up to today?"

Looking nervously at her sisters, Skuld began to recount another event of the past few weeks.

==========================

"Nabiki, you gotta' keep your arms straight," Ranma exclaimed in a tired voice. "If you don't, then this exercise is for nothing," he added to his previous statement. Ranma loved trying to teach his first love, the art, to anyone who would let him. Although, he would refuse to accept such an insinuation. Ranma felt a tiredness throughout his arms and legs that was like nothing before. The tiredness was unusual, because he didn't do very much physically. His mind also felt a bit foggy, as he realized that this was a bit of mental fatigue, the kind that he would get after an exam in school.

His thoughts were interrupted by his student, as he was mulling the idea of some sort of mental training. 

"I'm. I'm sorry, Ranma. I don't think I can do this," stated Nabiki in a new different tone. The new, "can't you see that you're killing me" tone was not one of Nabiki's favorite tones, but it worked wonders in cutting some of her training short. The reason she hated to use the tone wasn't because of any pride issue. No, that tone brought out Ranma's protective instincts, and over the past few weeks she's been getting the feeling that he might have been acting on those instincts with her far more often than expected. 

Quickly moving behind her, Ranma placed his hands to support Nabiki's arms at the elbows. This had the effect of taking some of the pressure off Nabiki's tired muscles, and it also forced Nabiki to finish her kata quickly. As he helped her move her hands down to her sides in a straight and graceful manner, he smiled gently at his student. "Ya' know, you're progressing. I bet in another year or two you could be in the mix around here," stated Ranma in a light hearted manner.

The reply was quick and cold, "As if. I am not going to deal with the jerks around here. They are ***your*** problem, I am only helping you because Skuld needs someone to keep her father from disappearing."

That's when Nabiki turned on her heels, and headed into the house. Nabiki did so without looking back, because she didn't want to see the hurt look in Ranma's eyes. The guy had enough girls fawning over him, and she was not about to be added to the list. As she mentally berated the whole situation, she slunk into the bathroom with each step slower than the last. Her head was hung low, and her heart was heavy. She didn't question the feeling, because like all feelings questioning them was dangerous. She dealt with the anxiety and sinking heart the same way she always had; she became one with the emotion, but never thought about where or why the feeling was there. 

==========

After describing the saddened look that Ranma wore as Nabiki headed into the house, Skuld added, "I interrupted Daddy during his kata to see if he was OK." Then, she rested her arm on the table wearing a suddenly disheveled look upon her face. Speaking more softly, she said, "I think he figured out, somehow, that he isn't getting a chance. I also think that the situation with the fiancée's is what put him in this situation. He may be stuck with a social stigma from this..."

"Tsk. Tsk. Haven't you learned yet that the Ultimate Force is in motion by now? I know that Ranma's love life will be in great hands, if I do say so myself," exclaimed Urd, who began chuckling at the thought!

Shaking her head, Belldandy asked Skuld to finish up, as she had to return to her new home soon.

In response, Skuld continued with a bit of nervousness, "Well, a couple of days later, the day before yesterday, was when big-sister showed up."

==========

Laughing jovially, Ranma teased Skuld by telling her she was too slow. Bouncing from rooftop to rooftop, they made a game of playing catch-up. While the idea of it didn't set too well with the fiancée's, their suitors (rivals), or homeowners, the various roofing companies had a much needed influx of capitol. This was precisely the sort of thing that made Nabiki's wallet, and usually Nabiki, very happy. However, under the newly developed circumstances--Nabiki was far from pleased.

---

"Damn it, Ranma," she bellowed from the streets below, as her effort to keep up was seemingly in vein. Huffing and puffing, she tried to get a reprieve again; this time, she asked Skuld to slow down, "Skuld! C'mon, let me catch up; Ranma will cut you some slack!" Her chest was burning, as Nabiki continued her pursuit of the martial arts wonder and his new daughter.

---

Suddenly, Ranma stopped. Then, he did a quick backflip into the sitting position upon the red tiles of a small apartment building, as he waited for his daughter and supposed fiancée to catch up. Silently, he mused about how angry Nabiki would be when she discovered that he had them running in circles around Nerima. He knew that Nabiki was bright, but he also knew that once someone got going that they had a tendency to lose their head. "Oh yeah," he thought, "am I gonna' get it!"

Ranma wasn't in the least bit worried about his daughter's reaction; Skuld enjoyed this game, assuming that ice-cream was at the end of the run. Ranma had started including Nabiki in this as part of her training, as he wanted her to at least have a chance of eluding the various rivals that were increasingly suspicious as to her role in his life.

Within moments, Ranma had Skuld sitting beside him. "Want some ice-cream, little girl," he asked in a tone that sounded almost devious. He gave a light hearted chuckle, as he heard the reply that he was aiming for, "Of coarse, Mr. Stranger!" They continued their light banter for only another moment, before Ranma spotted Nabiki turning the corner on the street below.

"Hey, if you start walking again--I'll start runnin' again," Ranma threatened. Ranma smiled, as he could have sworn he heard Nabiki say, "Damn you, Saotome!"

Ranma made a note to remind Skuld that if she couldn't jump down from a building to ask for a carry. While no-one seemed to notice the fact that she sort of fluttered to the ground; he didn't need anyone asking about it. Then again, "This ***was*** Nerima, and ***no-one*** questioned ***anything* **in this district," he mentally added.

Immediately upon her arrival on the scene, Nabiki began grating Ranma, "If this running every day is supposed to help me, why am I just as tired as the day I first started this crap, Ranma?" 

--

"Nope," Skuld thought, "she's not happy."

"But, you've run an entire mile more than usual today," Ranma thoughtlessly supplied.

"What did you just say?" Nabiki asked in a conspicuously dangerous tone.

"Well, uh, erm, oh, eh, hmm, that is..." Ranma began muttering.

"Out with it Saotome," demanded Nabiki.

"Well, you see. I've had us run a little more each day to help your endurance," Ranma finally spat out.

"I see," came the flat toned voice that Nabiki reserved for occasions such as these, where Ranma would do something unexpected.

"Daddy, Nabiki-san, would you please not argue? I want to go home so we can get some ice-cream," Skuld interjected before the conversation became any more heated than it already was.

--

As the trio entered the gates of the dojo, Akane was there to greet them with a verbal attack aimed at her sister.

"Isn't it enough that you pretend to like Ranma around his mom?!!? Now, you've got to encourage him to act even more wild? I thought I knew you, but you aren't my sister. You're... You're... You are another whacko using your engagement to Ranma to get something!" Akane screamed in accusing of her sister.

Nabiki's reply was short, simple, and to the point. "Moi?" She asked with big eyes, while she pointed at herself.

"You just want the dojo to sell it," Akane accused. Then she reared back as if to attack her sister.

In a blink of the eye, before any motion could be made, faster than Ranma could intercede the upcoming fight, a woman with a white bun appeared between the two Tendo girls.

--

"Hiya," greeted the woman cheerfully. "I'm Yumi, Skuld's case worker from the Department of Children's Affairs. I'm sure you remember me from the funeral," Yumi (Urd in disguise, for those who don't remember) stated with a cheerfulness that seemed bubbly beyond comparison. Quickly glancing around to Ranma, she added, "Oh! You must be the infamous Saotome-san! My, aren't we a beefcake of a father," she further exclaimed while grabbing his arm in a very Shampoo-like fashion.

In a classic anime style, little squiggly lines appeared above Skuld's head, as she buried her head into her hands in disbelief. After all of her explanations of what Ranma dealt with day in and day out, her sister still had the nerve to pull such an entrance. 

"Well, I'm sure that someone as cute as you can take good care of little Skuld. What's the matter? Why are you turning purple? Oh, goodness! Am I holding on too tightly?" Yumi asked, while releasing Ranma. However, before she had a chance to react there was a tug on the side of her dress. 

"Uhm, miss Yumi," asked Skuld, who was still wearing a scowl on her face.

"Oh yes! I must talk with your daughter for a bit, Saotome-san. I hope you are taking care of your end of the paperwork..." Yumi trailed off with a not-so-innocent smile.

Ranma indicated the dojo to Yumi as he was being drug off by Ranko. (No, not even the author knows where the water came from this time!) All of this left Akane to fume in the front yard. Akane could only stare at all of the retreating forms...

---

In the dojo, Skuld got off to a start before Urd could even pretend to begin a questionnaire, "What is wrong with you 'nee-chan?"

"Eh? What do you mean what's wrong with me?" 

"The way you just latched on to Daddy."

"Oh, that..."

"Sister!"

"I couldn't help myself, for some reason..."

"Urd! ***YOU*** are the goddess of love, how could you ***NOT*** have control?!!?"

---

In Nabiki's room, Ranma stood sullen and silent. For one of the few times in his life, Ranma could show no emotion himself. Stunned. Shocked. Forced silence. He could only stand there, as Nabiki explained that Ranma had to actually ***BE*** married within another month.

"So you see, Ranma, you cannot have adopted a daughter without this condition. I'll try everything I can to help you find the right match," Nabiki continued her explanation.

Ranma could only respond with a series of "buts."

Shaking her head, Nabiki added, "Ranma if you are willing, I have an idea. Skuld said that she could likely move this curse of yours to someone else, and possibly even back to you."

"What good'll that do," Ranma questioned.

Nabiki slapped her forehead with her hand, then continued, "Don't you see? You can marry your cursed form! Then, we can transfer the curse back to you or to whomever you choose later!" Following her statement, Nabiki placed her hands on her hips, grinned evilly, and added, "You don't have to thank me! We're almost the same person now, let alone almost family. Just recognize my genius, and grovel like a good boy!"

Ranma was quickly shaken out of his stupor, "What?!!?"

"Lighten up, Saotome," Nabiki stated, as she put her hand on his shoulder.

---

**In another part of town...**
    
    ****

A girl with long flowing black hair tucks her demonic wings into nothingness, and then walks from the dimly lit alley. Her eyes filled with both sadness and revenge; she slowly makes her way towards the Nerima district to find the one who ruined her happiness so long ago.

She was finally at the age where she could do something about her shared essence, the curse of her enemy, the love lost, and that which prevents her from becoming a first class demon. The time was finally nigh, so she walked past the people on the streets in the twilight hours unnoticed by a single soul...

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Notes: My apologies for taking so long in getting this chapter out, but again real-life has intervened. I didn't get the oppertunity to put in as much as I would have liked, so there will be a chapter Five-and-a-Half within a few weeks. Now for the good-news! I've had a burst of inspiration for this story that could very well prevent it from just being a simple relationship story! More action! New enemies! Old enemies powered up! War is afoot, and Ranma is stuck in the middle! Well, not war, but as far as the cast is concerned, it's WAR!

Be here next time for... Chapter 5.5: Hell is Five-Foot Five!

==================================================================

**BONUS**
    
    ****

Ranma was finally gone, and Nabiki had a chance to review her devious idea. Pondering about the future, she suddenly asked herself if it was such a good idea. Staring at the ceiling from her bed, her mind wandered, "Will I be mauled by Ranma's fiance brigade? Will I not be the one to be married to him until he can straighten his life out? What if he continues to dilly dally?"

Rolling over, she squinted her eyes. "What if I can't get rid of him? What if I fall for him, and then I can't keep him?" With her mind in a turbulence of a sea of unanswerable questions, one Nabiki Tendo fell into a troubled sleep... 

**End of Chapter Five!**

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	6. Omake: The Adventures of Mini-Ranko

**Targhan's World**

Presents

An Omake from "A Divine Daughter"

by: Targhan (targhan_aga@yahoo.com)

May God have mercy on our souls!

Introduction:

Time and space are peculiar things. The vastness of space can be greater than even a collective imagination. The always creeping of time in a linear fashion is the ultimate "unstoppable force." Yet, this story will deal with neither of those! This is simply an alternate, albeit super-deformed, world to the "A Divine Daughter" story. A world in which the bunny-like heavenly bug was never knocked aside by the ever curious Nabiki. A world altered to the point that the story cannot even be considered a side story. It is...

Disclaimer:

I do not own the characters or settings of Ranma 1/2 or Oh! My Goddess!. They belong to the appropriate licensees and their original creators, who are not me.

The Adventures of Mini-Ranko

The Tendo-Dojo is sitting at rest. However, the person who stated, "An object at rest tends to stay at rest," never visited Nerima, Japan. No, in this district anything can happen at anytime, and it can happen anywhere for any cause! But, I digress... The peaceful squat little dojo was sitting quietly in the rear of the Tendo compound. Also, it was currently occupied by an amazing martial-artist and his adopted daughter, who happens to really be a Norn.

Well, physics actually apply at this intersection of potential energy. Newton's twelfth law, "Where there is a martial artist from Nerima, there will be a loud boom!" is about to apply to the Tendo Dojo (again). For, you see, the wondrous techno-jiggary that Skuld has created is about to be used to free Ranma from his curse, or so she thinks...

Skuld: Are you ready?

Ranma: Whattya' mean, am I ready? If you're waiting on me, you're backing up!

Skuld: Beginning operation of "Super-Krystals-Chili-Pup Artifactual Curse Remover!"

Ranma: Aaaaargh! Just pull the damned switch, will ya'?!!?

Skuld, to herself: Note, must create neo-potty-mouth-plunger-01, _and _soon.

With that, Skuld pulled the switch to begin the exchange of Ranma's curse to a crystal designed to contain chaotic magic. Unfortunately, there was a loud pop eminating from the dojo, which was immediately followed by billowing blue smoke.

Looking out of her window, Nabiki wondered what the two fruitcake guests of the Tendo home were doing in the dojo. In the kitchen, Kasumi only hoped they wouldn't be late for dinner. Elsewhere, Akane simply hoped that Ranma's girl side wouldn't escape the crystal to attempt another murder...

There was one other player in the little game, this time around. For you see, a cute, white, fuzzy, little bunny-like bug was _still_ chewing on the wire at the time. The net result? Skuld had _no idea_ where that curse had gotten off to!

Ranma: Wahoo! I'm free! I'm free! Look at me!

(Many splashing sounds eminating from the dojo, and Ranma continues his dance of joy.)

Skuld: Uh oh.

Ranma: Wahoo.. Uh oh? What's an Uh oh? I'm cured!

Skuld: I don't know where the curse got off to!

Ranma: Who cares! It ain't me!

Skuld: I have a bad feeling about this.

Meanwhile, outside the small bunny like bug found itself being transformed from a bug, to a busty red-head, to an overly busty red-headed-super-deformed-girl, and back again! I, the narrator, will attempt to explain the conservation of energy... Well, no I'm not. Needless to say the bug didn't understand, nor did it care!

Bug: Squeak?

Narrator: Sorry.

Bug: Squeeeeeeeeek!

(Insert crashing sounds here.)

I'm not feeling so good, but I'll try to continue. The innocent, yeah right, bug found itself wandering about the Tendo home, after it's sudden new set of forms. Thus, it had it's first new experience in a long time, human contact.

Akane (surprised): Ranma? I thought you were supposed to be cured??!!

Bug (lunges into a hug): Squeak! (whimpering sounds)

Akane (hits bug): Get off of me you PERVERT!!

Our poor little bug, who shall henceforth be called MiniRanko, was sent flying the Akane-Borne Express in a line directly towards Ukyou's Ucchans. The poor little thing, had met violence at it's first contact with a human. (Awww.) MiniRanko's next stop was coming, and was coming fast!

MiniRanko (shaking her head): Squeak.

Ukyou (noticing): Awww! How cute! She looks just like Ranma-Honey!

MiniRanko: Squeak?

Ukyou: Did you get a new curse? Did you get yourself turned into child for me to take care of?

MiniRanko: Squeak? Squeak?

Ukyou (quickly scooping SD-MiniRanko into a glomp: Oooh! Ranma-Honey!

MiniRanko (turning into regular Ranko): Squeak!

Ukyou: Oh! It was a disguise to escape Akane!

Ranko: Squeak?

Ukyou: Darling! Let's get married right now!

Ranko: Squeak?

Ukyou: You will, wonderful!

Ranko: Squeak?

Ukyou (dousing Ranko with water): Hey! Why aren't you turning back?

Ranko: Squeak.

Ukyou: It's ok, I'll marry you anyway!

[Tsubasa runs in, and bonks Ranko.]

Tsubasa: Stay away from Ukyou-sama, you jerk!

Suddenly, Ranko found herself as a bug again, and hopped as far as her little legs could take her. She had to escape that crazy human who was trying to squeeze her to death. Unfortunately, she was turned back into MiniRanko, and she run into the Kunos.

T. Kuno: Hark, oh ye fair maid, who looks so much like my beloved!

MiniRanko: Squeak! Squeak? Squeak! Squeak! [Absolute surprise at being felt up!]

T. Kuno: Oh, my dearest of dears! Thou truly feel as soft as a main in a midsummer's night dream!

MiniRanko: Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! [Translation: OH MY GOD, GET THIS FREAKY PERV OFF OF ME!] Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

K. Kuno: Dear brother, why must you fool with such a harlot?

T. Kuno: Begone, oh deranged sister!

THWAP

MiniRanko (Running for dear life): Squeeeeek!

MiniRanko runs and runs, she doesn't care where she goes, as long as it's away from those scary humans! Unfortunately, she ran right into the Nekohaten, the Cat Cafe' if you will. The innocent MiniRanko, former bug, is now within sight of Shampoo!

[Insert The Amazing Amazon Glomp here!]

MiniRanko: Squeeek!

Shampoo: Ranma come take Shampoo to date, yes?

MiniRanko (trying to breathe): Sq.. Squ.... Squee.. Eeek!

Shampoo: Ranma tell Shampoo that he love, yes?

MiniRanko: Squeak! [Help!]

Shampoo: Ranma, you do love Shampoo! Great-Grandmother!

Cologne: Yes, Xian-Pu?

Shampoo: Ranma says he go back with Shampoo!

MiniRanko: Squeeeek! [Oh my god! Another squeeze-monster!]

Cologne: Well, let's not waste time, my child.

Shampoo: We go back to China, and Shampoo make Ranma too-too good marriage dinner, with roast duck!

Mousse: How dare you! Saotome! [Thwack]

MiniRanko found another harsh truth about reality. Asphalt hurts one's bum, particularly, when one is skidding along it. Within moments, poor little MiniRanko was once again directly in front of the Tendo home. However, they had an unexpected visitor...

P-Chan: Bweee! [Raising paws for a fight!]

MiniRanko: Squeak? [A pig?]

P-Chan: Bweee! [Prepare yourself Ranma!]

MiniRanko: [ Big-Sweats. ]

P-Chan [swinging]: Bwee-Bwee! [Hold still and take your pounding!]

MiniRanko: Squeeeek!

After a short scuffle, MiniRanko clambers out of the Tendo pond, and she pulls a Koi out of her blouse [No, I don't know where the blouse came from.]. With ratty hair and a bruised body, Mini-Ranko looked squarely up at a curious Ranma, and proceeded to squeak unintelligibly. 

Ranma, while scratching the back of his head, looked over at Skuld. When Skuld translated the bug's squeaks*, Ranma could only bang his head on a nearby rock!

*[Saotome Ranma, I swear vengeance upon you! I will not allow this crime to go unpunished! I'm a GUY bug!]

**The End**

Notes: Dear readers, I have, in fact, completely lost my mind. I can only hope you found a chuckle in it somewhere.

The Ranma1/2 - SailorMoon Crossover Creator Challenge Website has been redesigned, and voting will be up within a week or so! 

Check it out at http://www.beeftrapeze.com/challenge/

My other works can be found at: www.geocities.com/targhan_aga/

C&C gladly accepted at targhan_aga@yahoo.com

_See Ya' in another fic!_


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